The Stuff You Bring into Marriage

As you are walking down the isle on your wedding day, the last thing that you are probably thinking as you are preparing to take your wedding vows is: "Dear partner for life, advise me and identify my weaknesses!" More than likely, you are entering your relationship with the concept of "Someone to complete me" as the theme. While it is true that man and woman were designed to complete each other. See reference to the world "helper" in Genesis 2:18 The LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him." . The translation of the term "helper" is not "assistant to the man" or "servant of the man" as some may inaccurately read. The term helper is more accurately translated as "to assist some that is otherwise incapable". Wow! What a big difference that understanding reveals.

Genesis 2:24 ...a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.

This is a big deal. We are cleaved together. That's like taking a couple of pages and sticking them together with glue. Try to get those pages apart without damaging them. It's impossible. That is why it is so important to understand God's purpose for marriage.

As you enter a marriage, you come with individual expectations.
1. Let's do things my way
2. Fulfill my needs

There is a trend toward dysfunctional performance when we have the following expectations:
1. The 50/50 performance plan
2. We overestimate our "contribution"
3. We have superstar standards for our spouse
4. There is role confusion and frustration
5. We've mistaken equality for sameness
6. We function outside our sweet spot
7. Somebody always gets hurt

Here is the RIGHT STUFF...
1. Celebrate the distinct roles of husband and wife (see Genesis 2:18, Genesis 3:16, and Genesis 3:17-19)
2. Women: Your man desires your respect and support.
3. Men: Your woman desires your initiative and love
4. Get disciplined about communication (don't let stuff pile up) Colossians 3:12-17
5. The answer for a broken marriage is broken people (bring it to Jesus) - John 12:24-25

Women - Pray, respect, support - to get the man to initiate.
Men - Get stuff done without being asked - love your wife unconditionally!


For the Glory of God, we act this way. Be away from the "ways of the world" and have a covenant relationship in your marriage.