the after effects of divorce.

Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Robert Smyth on September 7, 2010 at 4:28pm

Hi Jeremiah,

I am truly sorrow that your heart is breaking, your mind confused, and i pray that God's grace will ease both your mind & heart. Your story also brings back hauting memories of my own marriage break up. It really distroyed me and I fell away from the church for some 5 years as i mentally grappled with life and understanding, my God was with me and even though life was increadably painful, i look back and recognise my God walking with me.

The first thing you must realise is that you can not make someone love you, no matter how much you want or hope for, secondly, life goes on there is a world of love and happiness out there and your God will guide you there, lol i hope you have an easier pace to peace than i did, but i am a completely new person with a strong outlook of life. i was married for 17.5 years when my wife had an affair and dissappered out of the blue for days on end with no explanation, it really took a while for my mind to except what was happening, we had 3 sons, and the mental pressure of work, looking after the boys and wondering where my wife was was quite distressing, anyway to cut a long story after 6 months, a reconciliation, a realisation she was then trying to work two lifes, i left, when i did so i was so hurt that i never spoke to her again, except a half dozen times, its been 6 years, i don't expect to speak to her again much. I have had residency of my sons since we split and as well as lossing a business, being homeless twice, and dragged through court, then out of this mess spending 5 years helping a young girl who had suffered abuse to find herself, and forget her past, i am now with a slightly clearer head, very attached to a great church where God is there & you can feel His prescense, and He's helping me get through life and i am asking & listening to Him as he guides me.

anyway sorry i was suppose to be inspiring you lol well if you haven't jumped by now, there is a great life out there, firstly forget your past relationship, this may be hard but if you ask God and truly believe it will happen it worked with me, then get out in the community, the church and create a great life for yourself, people have a great way of helping you without you sometimes knowing, i found helping others helped me forget and get over my past. The Lord is capable of anything, but we all have a choice how to act, what to do, God will help us if we ask, and follow Him. I felt at one time everything you are feeling, but in an instant my feelings changed, i realised i was someone with a life, a purpose, and by trying to change something that i couldn't and probably shouldn't I wasn't giving my life to the purpose God had for me.

Don't talk to your ex, there's no need, look to God and move with Him.

May God bless your day.

Robert

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Edwin Muir on September 8, 2010 at 2:44pm

Gooday JB Jnr we have a similar story except *God* did warn me many times through the scripture;
1 Pet 3.7;Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.
But sadly I looked at what I didn`t have, instead of what I had,in short I got partially unthankful for her and became spiritually overbearing at times.
Which only made it worse as You can imagine and she had her own childhood strongholds she had never let *Jesus* heal.
this next verse described me exactly but somehow I didn`t grow out of it quick enough and she stole the children and dissappeared.
Rom 10.2 For I bear them record that they have a zeal of God, but not according to knowledge.
The Bible being reliable and its promises so faithfully true,it came to pass as I did argue somewhat when in my head I knew better.
Job 6.26 (Warned me too)Do ye imagine to reprove words, and the speeches of one that is desperate, which are as wind?
Gal 5.15 ;But if ye bite and devour one another, take heed that ye be not consumed one of another.
Is 17.11;In the day shalt thou make thy plant to grow, and in the morning shalt thou make thy seed to flourish: but the harvest shall be a heap in the day of grief and of desperate sorrow.
Warns us that our works shall be burned up but to entrust our mountains into *HIS* faithful care and get *HIS* wisdom always.
But Oh No I was too stuck in the old nature to heed the warnings and YES she consumed me for 6/10 years BUT HALLELU*JAH* *GOD* REIGNS AND *HE* DELIGHTS IN MERCY AND AS I AGONISED THROUGH THIS TIME I HAVE SEEN AMAZING GROWTH THAT ONLY COULD BE *GOD* WHO MAKES ONLY GREAT STUFF as we endure.
Lean on *His* many promises.One of my favourites is Isaiah 34.16 KJV is best I,ve found.
SO DEAR BRO WHATEVER HAPPENS TRUST *HIM* THROUGH IT ALL AND KEEP SHORT ACCOUNTS WITH SIN WHICH *HE* UNDERSTANDS PERFECTLY AND IS UNBELIEVABLY
PATIENT WITH US *WHOM HE LOVES* and to *HIS* exceeding great and precious promises. yored@gmail.com I don`t use this email address much but shall check at times. *Father* I ask as Our *Lord* asked for Peter that JBjnr`s faith not fail but bring forth much fruit to *Thy* Glory in *Jesus* almighty Name Amen.

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by JEREMIAH BONEY JR. on September 9, 2010 at 5:26pm

I thank u vwry much for ur advice and insigfht on the siyuation I find myself in as far as not being able to understand what happened to my marriage, and my inability to truly let go and let GOD take complete control. As I said in my first message, the worst part of the position I am in, is that with this inability to let go of the past life I had with my wife and the grandkids of hers, I feel as though I am failing in my faith and belief in GOD and the teachings of CHRIST. GOD HAS GIVEN ALL US BELIEVERS THE TOOLS WE NEED TO COMBAT AND CONQURE ANY EARTHLY PROBLEM WE INCOUNTER, IN THE biblE. THE FACT THAT i HAVE BEEN UNABLE TO UTILIZE THESE TOOLS, WHEN I KNOW WHAT IMPORTANCE AND KNOWLEDGE THEY POSESSES, DEPRESSES ME EVEN MORE THAN THE LOSS OF THE MARRIAGE. i HAVE CRYED AND PRAYED EVERY MIGHT FOR THE PAST 20 MONTHS THAT GOD WOULD TAKE THIS PAIN FROM ME OR PROVIDE ME WITH THE ADDED STRENGTH AND FAITH I NEED TO PULL MYSELF UP OUT OF THIS PLACE I AM IN MENTALLY AND EMOTIONALLY. I GUESS THE ONLY THING I CAN DO IS TO STAND STRONG THROUGH THIS STORM, HAVE FAITH AND PATIENCE, IN GOD AND HIS PROMISES, AND TRULY BELIEVE THAT THERE IS STILL GOOD THINGS AHEAD FOR ME, AND THAT ONEDAY I MAY BE BLESSED TO FIND SOMEONE WHO WILL FIRST, TRULY BELIEVE IN GOD AND HIS LAWS AND COMMANDMENTS, AND SEROIUSLY APPLY THESE TRAITS AND LAWS IN THIER RELATIONSHIPS WITH THIER MATES. ONE THING, OR ONE LESSON GOD HAS TAUGHT ME DURING THIS ORDEAL IS THAT MAN OR MANKIND HSA THE ABILITY TO LET U DOWN AND DISAPOINT U BUT OUR 'LORD AND SAVIOR WILL NEVER DISAPOINT NOR ABANDON OR FORSAKE U. THANK U FOR THE WORDS OF INCOURAGEMENT AND INSIGHT, AND MAY GOD CONTINUE TO WALK, TALK, TEACH, LEAD AND GUIDE U IN HIS PRECIOUS LIGHT OF TRUTH AND RIGHTEOUSNESS. GOD BLESS!!!!!!

• ▶ Reply