TEENAGE PREGNANCY WITHIN THE CHURCH

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Permalink Reply by Amanda on February 22, 2014 at 9:12am

Kay,

I know there is a heavy burden upon your heart for the members of your church and for teenage pregnancy in general. In the church I joined last summer, this isn't an issue, nor was it in my former church. Maybe the fact that it wasn't an issue in my church experiences is abnormal, and I haven't really researched to see what the statistics are for teenage pregnancies in Christianity. Yet, I can see that part of the pain you feel is based on your own traumatic past experience with it, and it seems you are very sensitive to it for that reason. Being over sensitive can cause one to personalize things, place blame and just become overwhelmed by life in general. I'm very sensitive, and I also have a teen-aged son, and I have a 23 year old step daughter who was only four when she came into my life. 

God may be calling you to begin a ministry with the teens in your congregation. Teenagers are trying to transition into more independence, and adults are trying to let them grow up but what they see them struggling with or getting involved in can cause fear and worry and concern.

It's said that the most common reason that children use risky behavior is actually because they are rebelling against their own childhood and are having a difficult time learning how to become 
independent. The rebellion involves behavior such as anger, drug/alcohol use, cutting, running away, being promiscuous, etc. Motivations for the behavior are numerous, ranging from having been or still being abused, having trouble fitting in with their peers, sad, depressed or easily influenced by more dominant teen-agers whom they befriend, and more.

So God may be calling you to this ministry because teenagers need an adult to talk to who isn't their parent. What they need most is to feel understood and for someone to help them feel comfortable enough to share their thoughts and feelings. Adults often say that they can't understand why teens are acting the way they do, but it's just as true that teens don't understand why they are feeling and acting the way they are, either.

They definitely need someone who can understand what they are going through and who knows what type of support and boundaries to give them in order to help them finish growing up.

As you seek God's help in this matter and ask for advice from others, my main suggestion is that grace be emphasized. Romans 2:4 tells us that kindness and goodness from God is what leads us to repentance and 2 Corinthians 5:14 speaks of the love of Christ compelling us to live for Him. To live the right way, people need to have the love of Christ within them, flowing outward, like a river of living water. The teens who aren't saved can not be expected to live like anything else except like the world, and those who are born again are likely very young spiritually as well. There's a right way of pointing out failure and sin and it includes sharing the Good News, forgiveness, and hope. God's amazing grace.

That's my two cents, coming from a mother of a teen and coming from one who needs God's grace more than anything.

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Permalink Reply by Miss Kitty on February 22, 2014 at 10:24am

OH GIRL, YOU ARE SO SPECIAL. I LOVE THE WAY YOU PUT THINGS. FOR YEARS, KIDS HAVE BEEN COMING TO ME. IVE ALWAYS BEEN THE NEIGHBORHOOD MOTHER. TWO OF THESE TEENS LIVES ACROSS THE STREET, I HAVE BEEN A SOUNDING BLOCK FOR THE YOUNG BOY, HE'S JUST PRECIOUS AND THERE HAVE BEEN OLDER ONES AT CHURCH ALSO. I TRY VERY HARD TO LEAD THEM AND OF COURSE THEY KNOW I LOVE THEM AND CARE. CARLA MENTIONED TO PRAY IF THE LORD MAY HAVE A MINISTRY WITH THESE KIDS. AT ONE TIME I SUBED FOR A WHILE WITH THE OLDER ELELMENTARY KIDS, (14 PLUS) . I USED BIBLE STORIES AND WE HAD TALKS AND I TAUGHT THEM ABOUT THE LAYING OF HANDS ON WHEN PRAYING. HAD A COUPLE WHO WERE STARTING TO OPEN UP. THEN THEY DECIDED TO BREAK THE CLASSES DOWN SO I DIDNT HAVE A CLASS ANYMORE. IVE TALKED TO THE PASTOR AND HE SAID KEEP PRAYING FOR GOD TO PUT YOU WHERE HE WANTS YOU. I WAS TALKING TO A LONG TIMER AT THE CHURCH YESTERDAY AND SHE SAID  THEY HAVE HAD A BIG PROBLEM WITH THESE THINGS ALL ALONG, ITS JUST GOTTEN WORSE. SO I AM DEFINITELY PRAYING ABOUT IT AS WELL AS FINDING A NEW CHURCH HOME. YOU KNOW JESUS WENT TO PLACES THAT MOST OF US WOULDNT GIVE THOUGHT TOO, I WILL GO WHERE HE LEADS, I HAVE TO REMEMBER HIS BLOOD HAS US COVERED AND HIS GRACE IS SUFFICIENT FOR US. HE GAVE ME AN ABUNDANCE OF LOVE TO GIVE AND A HEART FULL OF COMPASSION SO WHO KNOWS WHERE HE WILL LEAD. GOD BLESS YOU!! I LOVE YOU

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Permalink Reply by Seek on February 22, 2014 at 1:00pm

As others have said, once done it's done.  I see no reason against throwing a shower.  It is having separated people coming with boyfriends/girlfriends, the pastor's son engaged to someone not divorced, and allowing teens together in rooms without supervision that they are falling short in.  It is because the former is happening that the latter occurred.  If teens weren't left unattended in private rooms in the church, they might not be needing a shower.  I think the pastor should be telling his congregation, and his son especially, that he's not saying not to date or be engaged while separated (perhaps his son's fiance has been caught in a very long divorce that won't end), but for the sake of the Gospel, until they are married, they shouldn't be allowing that to be seen in the church, cause it's sending a wrong message to others.

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Permalink Reply by Charles Burwell on March 14, 2014 at 11:42am

I  usually don't comment of forums that I feel so ill qualified to comment on by I would like to anyhow in this case.

I believe that since the emphasis (at least in my understanding ) is to be on the baby more than anything else that there would be nothing wrong with the shower being in a church. A shower (again in my understanding ) is to provide things to aid the baby that is being born.

I don't feel (again , in my opinion only) that this is in any way condoning having children 'out of wedlock (if that is not too antiquated a term). As I look back at the post it concerns 'teen pregnancy' but my opinion about it not endorsing this remains the same.

The 'moral opposition' to this (teen pregnancy) is ,of course, a very legitimate one.But to ban them from having this in the church is like 'closing the barn door after the horses got out'. The 'sin' has been committed and the time for compassion and mercy is at hand. The teens, or whoever should be shown love and most earnestly prayed for. There needs to be healing and instruction and the mother would be much more receptive to someone who loves and cares for them right where they are (as far as spiritual matters are concerned) than from one who turns them away.

I am .absolutely not , in any way shape or form , condoning teen (or any other age group) sex outside of God's perameters.

The church needs to bring much more emphasis on this both in their teachings and in their monitoring of activities in the church. I think it is more important to the church that it should not allow inappropriate things to happen on it's grounds or events that is directly tied to. That is, in my opinion only, the thing that much more damages a churches reputation in the community and effectiveness for proclaiming the gospel.

Just my opinions.

GOD BLESS

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Permalink Reply by Miss Kitty on March 14, 2014 at 8:07pm

THANK YOU FOR YOUR COMENT. AS I HAVE STATED IN MY REPLYS TO COMMENTS, THESE GIRLS SHOULD BE LOVED AND PRAYED FOR AND THE BABY IS INOCENT. MY CONCERN IS THE YOUNGER ONES , THEIR ABILITY TO REASON IS NOT COMPLETELY DEVELOPED UNTIL 28 YRS OF AGE. SO A CHILD 8, 9, 10 IS GOING TO PERCEIVE IT ENTIRELY DIFFERENT. THAT IS WHY AS ADULTS AND PARENTS WE HAVE TO BE SO CAREFUL . ONE 11 YR OLD GIRL STATED SHE WANTED TO HAVE A BABY AFTER ONE OF THE SHOWERS, YES TEEN PREGNANCY IN THIS CHURCH IS SPREADING LIKE WILD FIRE. NOT ONLY IS IT UP TO THE PARENTS TO TEACH THERE CHILDREN AT APPROPRIATE LEVELS, BUT THE CHURCH HAS A RESPONSIBILITY TO TEACH AND PROTECT THEM ALSO. I HAVE SPOKEN TO THE PASTOR AS WELL AS OTHERS ABOUT THIS.MY SUGGESTION WAS TO PLAN SOMETHING FOR THE CHILDREN SO THAT THE ADULTS CAN ATTEND THE SHOWERS. THE LEADERSHIP ALSO HAS A RESPONSIBILITY TO ENFORCE RULES FOR APPROPRIATE CONDUCT FOR THESE TEENS AND YOUTH. NO WAY SHOULD THEY BE ALOUD TO BE ALL OVER EACH OTHER, BOYS WITH THEIR HEADS IN THE GIRLS LAPS, IN CLASS ROOMS NO LIGHTS ON  ETC ETC. I THINK THESE PARENTS THINK THEY CAN LET THEM GO WHILE THEY SOCIALIZE. THE LITTLE ONES HAVE A PLAYGROUND TO PLAY ON BUT RUN THROUGH THE CHURCH LIKE HOLY TERRORS. EVEN DURING SERVICES THE PARENTS LET THEM WONDER AROUND. THIS IS VERY DISTRACTING. THERE IS CHILDREN'S CHURCH, BUT SOME KEEP THEIR KIDDIES WITH THEM AND CHILDRENS CHURCH IS ABOUT HALF THE TIME AS THE SERVICE. IN NO WAY SHOULD SOMEONE BE LEADING PARYER AND WORSHIP AND BE TEXTING SOMEONES EXTRANGED WIFE AND ACTING INAPPROPRIATELY IN MANY OTHER AREAS, I DONT CARE WHO'S SON IT IS. THE PROBLEM IS IN LEADERSHIP, NO ONE WANTS TO STEP UP TO THE PLATE AND ROCK THE BOAT , SO TO SPEAK. I PERSONALLY FEEL THAT THER IS ANOTHER WAY TO SUPPORT THESE GIRLS WITHOUT IT INFLUENCING THE YOUNGER KIDS. WE CERTAINLY DONT HAVE A CLUE TO THE THINGS THAT WE DEEM INOCENT ARE BLOWING THESE LITTLE ONES MINDS. EVEN I, AT 64 AM STILL LEARNING AND I'VE ALREADY RAISED 2 AND ON A THIRD. THESE KIDS NEED TO BE TAUGHT RESPECT AND TO ACT APPROPRIATELY , ESPECIALLY IN CHURCH. AGAIN THANK YO FOR YOUR COMMENT. GOD BLESS YOU

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Permalink Reply by Richard L. Broch, Sr. on March 15, 2014 at 9:31pm

Hi Kay,

Interesting discussion..........

Some points to consider here. I haven't heard much positive comments (except from Carla) about not going for an abortion here.

This girl and her family should be applauded for not joining the rush to those who commit the act of murder.....to "remove the problem".

So the church gets put on the spot for this shower....to help financially......and to give some moral support to the situation.

Yes, this is very unusual....but the Bible tells us we will be moving into unusual and difficult times as we draw closer to His second coming. We have to help each other.

And, as Jesus once said, "He who is without sin among you, let him be the first to throw a stone at her." (From John 8:7, N.A.S.B.).

It's time to circle the wagons, for intensive Biblical training and to help each other more as much as possible.

Grace and Peace. 

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Permalink Reply by Tammy on April 19, 2014 at 9:08pm

In reality Chip, I'd have hated for you to be on that board as well. His words never change nor His scale goes down but as humans, our values plummet. I'm so thankful that He looked beyond my fault & saw my need.

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