Submission

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Permalink Reply by Jane Smith on July 20, 2011 at 7:06am

"If a woman has a husband who takes advantage of her submissiveness, she married the wrong man. But then, God also says not to be unequally yoked".

 

Yes Amen! And what I believe is if a wife is godly and she has realized she married a fake, someone who just said he is a Christian to get her to marry him, or a lukewarm Christian, because we know the lukewarm will be denied entrance to Heaven, then she better learn to listen to the HS, because her life is going to become a roller coaster ride until she is freed by the Lord. She will realize very soon that her husband is not who she thought he was, that she is in a trap that the devil nicely set and because children usually come along pretty quickly into the marriage, she will need to protect them. It all depends on the security level of the wife and the support she has from family, friends and the Church as to how long she will be in a deadlock with her husband keeping silent most of the time so he doesn't take things out on the kids. God knows exactly what her security level is and works with her accordingly. This is the reality of most women in an unequally yoked marriage. They are essentially hostages. God has a plan for such wives knowing that they innocently fell into this trap.

 

The HS will lead her and guide her every step of the way to freedom for He knows what the husband is going to choose whereas she does not. This is the hardest journey imaginable for a wife who is in this situation, but she will survive through the Lord's protection.

 

God knows if the husband is going to submit to Him as you say your husband did and treat his wife with tender care or if he is going to trash his wife and dump her somewhere down the line. Most wives in this position will not have the happy ending that you had of a restored marriage, they will have many bitter days of learning what it is to cling to the Lord at all costs. But He will give them peace through the journey and get them to safety in the end.

 

Usually the children from these marriages are deeply affected and stray from God and that will be another heavy cross the wife will have to bear. But no matter how things turn out in the end she will walk in peace.

 

When submission is taught in such a way that the wife believes the false promise that by perfectly submitting to her ungodly husband he will change and their marriage will be restored, she will be destroyed and he will only become worse. She must learn the balance of submitting and speaking the truth in love as God gives her opportunities. But at some point he will choose whether he wants to continue in the marriage or depart. Either way, God will get the wife to the right resources and support to find her way to safety.

 

The journey of surviving an unequally yoked marriage is different for each couple, because no two couples, individually or together,  will make the same choices and no two couples have the same baggage to overcome from the way they were raised. The Lord wants the best for both, but how things turn out will be determined by their individual choices towards Him.

 

I thought I read one time that in the early Church, if a husband was unbelieving and causing his wife and children sorrow, that he was brought before the leadership and chastened. So, he either had to decide to submit to the Lord and treat his family right or be banished from his family and the Fellowship of believers. I feel there is no such thing in today's Church for the most part and this is what gives husbands license to do as they please.

 

Some wives are set free sooner rather then later depending upon the support they have, support that teaches them how to effectively deal with the husband. The result will be either the husband does submit to God through her godly submission, not doormat submission, or a wife  is able to navigate to safety faster should the husband's choice be to depart. Either way,  I can not stress enough how this is the life lesson of learning to listen to the HS. God will not fail her if she learns to obey the HS and the day will come when she will be free, married or not.

 

 

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