All About GOD - Growing Relationships with Jesus and Others
socially awkward
hi,
i've always had the feeling of being "on the outside" in social situations, and recently this has intensified to the point where i feel like the only people i can be relaxed and "myself" around are my husband and my son.
i get so uptight even in casual conversation with others, and its really annoying. how can i be a good witness to others when i'm like this? i think i'm definitely "that weird Christian girl" to others.
i'm sick of feeling so fake with others...
any insight is much appreciated!
jenny
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Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by feet breath on
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Sister, read 2 Corinthians 12:9 :o).
You mean you have a hard time witnessing because you can't find the right words or something?
Sister, if so I know how you feel. I'm shy and don't know the right words without possibly causing an argument. And, if I do get on a discussion I'm passionate about I'll probably regret what I said later on. I can be talkitive if I'm very passionate but that may get me into trouble. The thing with me is I more than likely have some form of autism (I was never diagnosed but I see it in how I live my life). So, I have trouble bringing up subjects that will probably cause an argument. If I do say something my mouth is liable to run even when my brain knows I better shut my mouth. I don't want to end up being rude-that'll be an embarssament to Christ, me and won't help!
I learned from the Holy Spirit (He's still teaching me though) something. I wanted to know how to witness, He told me to show them love or something like that. The best thing to do is ask the Holy Spirit for help and wisdom.
Love,
Feetbreeze
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Permalink Reply by Jenny on
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thank you for that verse, that's a good one to remember, always~
feet, thanks for sharing more of your experience and struggle here.
i know you're right in what you said about how we can love others in order to witness to them.
love,
jenny
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Permalink Reply by a servant (Chris) on
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Hi Jenny
I am Chris glad to meet you. I obviously read your post and it struck a nerve. I would like to share a part of my past. I stuttered until I my oldest son was born, I was 19. I went to Catholic schools until 9th grade. So in the mid 60's and early 70's I had undiagnosed ADHD. Found out when I was 30+, and it is full blown. People understand now but back then not so much. I was born with some blood thing and needed iron drops. Ended up with a silver tooth. The skinny is I stuttered very badly, had a silver tooth, ADHD with Nuns and retired public school teachers 2 and 3rd grade. They were allowed to do a lot to me. Anyway very shy yet hyperactive. Got into lots of trouble very early on. At 15 I accepted Jesus and was Baptized in Holy Ghost in the basement of a Catholic Church. One of the first "Words" spoken over me was, "I have called you to be a prophet and that i would be lead to stand alone more than not." I FREAKED OUT!!! And, struggled with that Word and a great many more like it. I was not sure God actually knew me. I stuttered and was so very inscure. When I was 23? I began to yield to God.
Now when ever you say the word prophet. People have so many different reactions. I had just began to get over the hurdles of speaking. Then when the Spirit begin to use you. Be it a Word to the whole Church, or a private Word to someone. Now they started to think I could read their mail, so again people stepped away more than towards. Then operated quite successfully for a number of years.
Another big jump. Mid+ 30's find out I have ADHD, and with no connection got divorced. That was 17? yrs ago back then the entire church turned their backs on us. Not going to get into all that but again, more alone.
I was early 40's quite successful in many ways. Had a failed back fusion and constant pain. Long story.
Jenny now I am 51. Because I stuttered, I learned to listen. Because I was shy, I became sensitive and gentle. Because, I have ADHD I have insight in many things, I would not if I did not have it. Have been disabled for almost 10yrs. This has given me much time alone with God. Have seen so many things through all the things that made me feel "strange."
I said all that to say this. You are Wonderfully Created. The Father has designed you for a work only you will be able to do. Trust and know that you are Loved. Relax and be who you are, not who you think will fit in. Grace is a Wonderful thing. As we accept how God made us, Faith is a Wonderful thing. I will lift you up in Prayer Sister.
I want to Thank You for posting this. I have been here for a little while. And, shared more about me in one setting then ever before. I wanted to before, to explain why I say the things I say, cause I figured they would think I was "Very Strange." Lord Bless You Little Sister.
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hi Chris, thank you for responding and sharing about your own experience with struggles.
you said, "Because I stuttered, I learned to listen. Because I was shy, I became sensitive and gentle. Because, I have ADHD I have insight in many things, I would not if I did not have it. Have been disabled for almost 10yrs. This has given me much time alone with God." praise our Holy Father, who works everything out for our good~
it brought tears to my eyes when i read, "Trust and know that you are Loved. Relax and be who you are, not who you think will fit in." big brother, i have spent the last 15 years actively engineering my personality to fit a mold. i made the conscious decision going into highschool, to be "popluar" at all costs. most people thought i was outgoing, an extrovert, even racey. i have lived a lie for so many years, i have a hard time even knowing what parts of me are the "real" me anymore. so much of my interests and even ways of speaking have been a fabrication from my early teens. i am now 26...
hence, perhaps, my social awkwardness. i don't want to be aware of every posture, every little phrase that comes out of my mouth anymore. its exhausting.
so how did you come out of your awkwardness? is it just a long process and i may not feel freed from it for many years?
love,
jenny
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jenny
Little Sister here is the beautiful thing about out Loving Dad. I was told to check my e-mail within a minute you had replied. Wisdom is only from God. Once you know what you want, humble yourself before the Lord. A take from the experience of others. Between my wife and I we have 8 kids. Oldest 34 youngest 19. Anyway I raised my kids 5 and have had a hand in her 3. I always told them, "I want you to stand on my shoulders. Go far past where I ever did. Take from my experience learn the Wisdom I have gained, and go. As with the Family of God the same thing. You can skip so many steps. Trust and Holy Spirit will reveal the Love of Jesus in your heart. To only want Him to be Glorified, allows Him to Shine through your heart. Remember, Father God made you, Jesus and Holy Spirit know how to best display Love through you. Again, Trust and Know you are Loved.
I am blessed that I have been able to be used and help.
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jenny
I wanted to add, at 26 you knowing what you do not want to be. And, you have years of experience doing what you do not want to do. That is knowledge. And, when you look at it a different way. All you got to do is what you feel naturally want to do for God. People twice your age still struggle in those areas. some never do. Now you can just learn to be lead by the Spirit. You will do fine little Sis.
Lord Bless
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thank you Chris, i am blessed to have your thoughts, and am thankful for AAG and all of you on here who take time to help and share with those of us not so far along on the path
you said, "Remember, Father God made you, Jesus and Holy Spirit know how to best display Love through you." thanks for this, so true and i pray the Lord helps me to remember this always, that its His work
jenny
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I'm the same way Choco. I'm more relaxed around strangers than family.
I guess Jenny, Chris, you (Choco) and me have more in common than we thought.
This discussion reminds me of 2 Corinth. 1:4
http://bible.cc/2_corinthians/1-4.htm
King James 2000 Bible (©2003) Who comforts us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them who are in any trouble, by the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted of God.
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I guess so Feetbreeze:)
We'll enjoy each other's company in our Father's house I'm sure
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Sister, it'll be wonderful! We'll be spending eternity with God.
Will we enjoy each other's company? Yep :) I'm excited about it now.
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Hi Choco, thanks for your reply~
I guess being shy has a pretty negative rep. in the culture, and maybe its not so bad to be shy.
But I like what you said, "Perhaps when we are more relaxed in our relationship with Jesus, we can be more relaxed about ourselves and it will come naturally."
Maybe we can be shy and also rest in confidence in Christ.
I pray He helps us both.
Love,
Jenny
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Permalink Reply by Charles Burwell on
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Jenny
I can very much relate to your situation with a few little differences. I was intensely shy as I was growing up . I'm not sure why as my older brother ( by 2 years ) and my best friend was exactly the opposite . I was so afraid of not fitting in that I didn't even try .
Also , being that I was very much in the 'background' ( so to speak ) people didn't bother quieting their conversations when I was around. I heard so many people backbiting others than they ( to their faces anyhow)were very friendly to that I just began to believe that every one was phony and any act of kindness was simply a front.
I would take no one at face value or give them the benefit of any doubt. Needless to say that doesn't endear you to many people so my range of friends was very minimal. In my high school we were required to take a class on public speaking to graduate . Needless to say I had no chance what so ever of passing that. Finally in my senior year they provided an option to the class. That was the only way I was able to graduate.
I just assumed that no one was interested in what I had to say so I didn't say anything . I was afraid they would just make fu so I kept my opinions , for the most part to myself. It was a bad way to grow up but it was my way of coping. The only reason I got married was because a young woman took the initiative to bring me out of my shell ( atleast with her ) . Then she became pregnant and got married. A marriage that lasted only a few years as she began to realize that I would probably never change.
I 'm sorry , I noticed that I got off the subject and started rambling ( as I am prone to do ) . My point is that , until I met Christ I was pretty much doomed to live in this condition. But when the love of Christ came into my heart it created a change that was indescribable ( to say the least ) . I gained such a burden to share my faith that I becan writing to everyone whose address I had and told them about it. I knew that there would be a very good reception to my letters but had such a burden to do it. God was merciful in that I didn't have to speak to them directly or I may not have been able to do it. Actually I'm quite sure I would not have been able.
As my walk with the Lord continued I was lead to serve in a rescue mission in DC . It turned out that I learned infinitely more than I ever served. As part of the ' mission team ' we were required to speak to the men whenever a church didn't show up to conduct the daily chapel services.
The first time it became my turn to share with the men I went into a dead panic . I took out my bible and concordance and notebooks and when about to constuct a teaching that would really impress them. The devil used me like a little play toy. The message was scripturally sound and had a lots of scripture to it and the staff members said that it was really good but I had sush a sich , phony feeling in my spirit that I almost became physically ill from my shame . I chose to speak on faith and I didn't have a drop of it at the time. I felt like an incredible hypocrite.
The second time I was asked I started to do the very same thing I did the first time. However this time the Lord allowed me to be thrown into such a confusion on what to speak about that I was drawing a total blank on what to speak about and it was less than 3 hours until time to speak in the chapel service. I was kneeling by my bed with al my study things spread across the bed . I became angry in my paniced state a just pushed them all off the bed and began to really get on God's case . It's only by His mercy that He didn't put an end to my smart mouth in the folllowing few minutes.
I began accusing God of not caring if the people got a message and not caring if I was completely embarrased by having nothing to say ; and on and on and on. Anyhow , as I kept up the ' don't You care' tiraid ' He reminded me of an incident in the bible of when the disciples questioned His concern about them when the storm suddenly arose . I turned quikly to the story and after reading it I got the most clear message from God that I ever received.
As you know , int the incident Jesus rose and calmed the storm by simply saying ' peace be still' .
I finally got the message. God wanted me to speak on something I actually experienced in my walk with Him. I was able to share with the men how God had delivered the ' peace that passes all understanding' right in the middle of the worst storm in my life. That being the night that I yielded my life to Him. I was on the brink of doing a series of incredibly foolish things that could have easily resulted in my death or imprisonment. Instead His Spirit drew me to am alter of repentance and realization of my need for Him.
Although my circumstances ( from a physical standpoint ) hadn't changed at all I felt the peace that allowed me to rejoice until He took care of everything. I could certainly share the statement that the disciples had made when they said " what manner of man is this that even the wind and seas obey Him? '.
I spoke with such a boldness and confidence because I was speaking of the things most precious to me. I know I've taken a long time to make a simple point ,but I wanted to share that when the Lord really draws you close and leaves you with undeniable truths to His precious promises you will gain the boldness to speak to others of them. As a wise man once told me ' peole may be able to argue circles around yur knowledge of the bible , but they will never be able to overcome your testimony . " Those are precious treasures that the Lord gives us to help win others to Him.
God bless you as you experiences these truths from th e Lord. He is faithful to do this. Please excuse my longwindedness.
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