Single ladies advice

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Permalink Reply by Jane Smith on November 1, 2011 at 2:06pm

Hi everyone,

Ok godly counsel. Don't even let a guy get in on you with flirting and worldly talk. The second he starts, you start with a witness of your faith in Jesus. He will probably run for the hills if he's not interested in knowing God lol! If he ignores what you are saying and is controlling or tells you he is in love with you in 5 seconds lol, excuse yourself and say you have to go. Do not give him the time of day if he is just there as a little puppet of satan to disrupt your day. Even if he should be interested in your witness, speak with him for a limited time if you are in a public place. Do not encourage him to speak with you alone. If he wants to hear more of your witness, next time meet him in public with a few Christian friends including male friends, your Christian dad, brother, cousin or uncle. Always keep it in public with a mixed group of friends or family. If he isn't really interested in knowing God, don't worry it won't last long lol. Be glad its over and pray for him.

 

And, there is a book I have suggested on this site at leaste 1/2 dozen times now. This is one of the most special books I've ever read on understanding godly boundaries between young ladies and young men or ladies and men of any age, the scriptural way to conduct oneself with one of the opposite gender, and God's will for the way to know if someone is right for you when it comes to Christian courtship and marriage.

 

The title of the book is "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" by Josh Harris. Do you hear what the title is saying? You see, most of us have been influenced by the society around us that says its ok to do a lot of things God does not want us to do. Most of us have watched too many secular movies and have a hollywood approach to dating, love and marriage. That's why the divorce rate is so high.

 

God's ways are always 180 degrees opposite of man's ways. God doesn't want us to form emotional bonds or a soul tie with anyone of the opposite gender until He matches us with the right person. Worldly dating is to try someone out to see if you like him. That is not God's way. The relationship might not work out and that means you are stealing the emotional, physical, and spiritual affections of someone who may one day become the spouce of another woman. No one has the right to do this.

 

By sharing too much of yourself with guys who are not God's will for you, you are opening a door you have no right to go in, you are giving your affections to someone who will be someone elses future husband. Of course this goes both ways.

 

The message contained in this book was one of the most important messages of my entire life, because most everyone falls into the flirting and dating trap that is desiged by satan to destroy our lives before they ever get started. A %  marry outside of God's will and the relationship goes on for yrs and others think they must be in God's will, but if they did not marry in God's will in the first place, then it is just a facade.

 

Whether a person learns this lesson before they make a mistake and marry the wrong person, while they are married repent and get their marriage straightend out, get divorced and have to start over, remarry or never remarry, they will have to learn this lessin at some point in their lives or they will never be in God's will.

 

The period in our lives when we are preparing ourselves for the time when we might get married is very critical. The title "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" is perfect, because all of us must learn that worldly dating was never God's will and will lead to disaster. The younger one learns this the better. If it was God's will for a person not to marry, just knowing what is contained in this book, would give them peace to live the rest of their life knowing they were in God's perfect will.

 

Even though the opening question in this thread is about how to handle rude guys, I am trying to show that there is a bigger issue here of understanding godly boundaries starting in our upbringings, teens and up. So few ppl understand these boundaries even Christians. This is what I found out when I sought the Lord to understand what is a true marriage in Christ. It changed my whole perspective and I had the answer to how satan brings marriages down.

 

God has so much better for us. In fact our single years should not be viewed with loneliness and will anyone ever want me. It is an honor to serve God in our singleness with no hindrances as the Apostle Paul pointed out, and should God bring a spounce in our life it will be to serve God as a team, not as a bless me union which is only about the couple and their desires. We as sisters in Christ can understand how to handle the rude guys who come along, set godly boundaries and become witnesses for the Lord.  And should the Lord will for us to be married at some future time, we can be completely in His will.

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Permalink Reply by David Velasquez on November 2, 2011 at 11:17am

>>The title "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" is perfect, because all of us must learn that worldly dating was never God's will and will lead to disaster. The younger one learns this the better. If it was God's will for a person not to marry, just knowing what is contained in this book, would give them peace to live the rest of their life knowing they were in God's perfect will.

 

As someone else has said: the core message of the book isn't about "dating," but living your life for God.

Maybe millions (I do not have statistics) have found their love one through the method of dating. The message of the book you keep alluding to is a beautiful one and the book is a great read.

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Permalink Reply by Jane Smith on November 2, 2011 at 2:11pm

Hi David,

I would add its about living for God so one does not fall for the lie of American dating. It could just as easily apply to a number of subjects. The point is that when we live for God, He will reveal to us everything that is not of Him and give us the strength not to make wrong choices.

 

As a side note, Josh Harris is the son of homeschooling parents who taught seminars on hsing when hsing was new. At the time, hsing seemed like a strange way to educate children, but today it is very accepted and the numbers of Christian parents that hs has grown a lot. Actually, hsing was the way Christian parents educated their children prior to public an private schools being established in this country. So, its not a new thing, its an old thing. And so it is with biblical courtship vs American dating. It is truly a tribute to Josh's parents that at the age of only 20, Josh was given this message and wrote such an astonishing book. It goes to show that God can use a young man or young woman who puts God first to deliver His truth. 

 

Glad you have read this book, too, David and know what I am talking about.

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Permalink Reply by Ella on November 2, 2011 at 11:06pm

AMEN and AMEN!

In my case I believe and agree that if the man I love doesn't have the same faith and relationship with Jesus just like I do,  I need to let him go and build my relationship with God first and everything else will follow. This ain't easy I admit and I need to be full of the presence of Holy Spirit each day. I am just thankful because God is not giving up on me and thanking Him also for reminding me always that it's ALL ABOUT HIM and His LOVE is all I NEED. Thank You Jesus.

Ella,

 

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Permalink Reply by Rita Cullimore on October 30, 2011 at 3:57pm

You girls could always tell them that you need your Father's and Brother's approval. And when they agree to meet Them, carry them to church. And introduce them to your Comforter while you are at it!

 

Blessings!

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Permalink Reply by David Velasquez on November 1, 2011 at 5:13am

 

I know - I am not a lady, but little sis I got something to tell you. :)

 

We do not fight flesh and blood. Satan and his demons are relentless with their attacks. If they do not succeed one way, they will try another and another and another etc...

 

God allows it for it builds character, integrity and it exercises us in Godliness. Very handsome guys, funny guys, the rebel types, the rude kind etc... You name it, will be thrown at you with the hope that you falter, but greater is the one who is in you.

 

Speak to them about the Lord, tell them you are praying for them (this is not applicable for all, but for those that may be around you constantly), for others stand firm in your conviction to remain pure for the Lord. Turn the situation around for God's glory. You are a child of the King, hence you are beautiful and darkness loves to ruined innocence and holiness, so remain focus on Jesus. The author and finisher of your faith.

 

Speak to them about Jesus. 

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Permalink Reply by David Velasquez on November 1, 2011 at 7:07am

You know I am goanna stick my nose in my family's business. All up in the  kool-aid. hehe

 

Love and blessings to you beloved Nancy and thaks for the kind words.

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Permalink Reply by Jane Smith on November 2, 2011 at 3:06pm

Hi Wicus,

No, you are reading into my words something I did not say. Both ladies and men who put God first will have active lives serving the Lord. This will put them in social contact with many ppl. Also, with balance in ones life of having hobbies and times of R&R, it is natural to encounter others who share the same interests who are serving the Lord, too, not common, but possible. 

 

I didn't say anything about being a hermit. There are plenty of ways to meet ppl besides going to bars or worldly parities etc.. But even with all this, it is my belief that God is the one who brings two ppl together that He wills to be together.

 

He will let both know if they are His choice for them. It is when we make these choices without seeking the Lord, that we wind up in doomed relationships. And I also believe that when it comes to God finding someone a mate, if it is His will for a couple to meet, court and marry, even if they didn't have a very active social life, that does not limit God.

 

To illustrate this, when I was single and trying to understand all of this, there weren't a whole lot of elligible godly Christain men around. One day out of nowhere, a man came to my community all the way from Canada. He was the exact descrption of what I am attracted to in a man which certainly got my attention fast lol This was back in the days when I did not know about God's will regarding Christian courtship. As it turned out we shared several nice dates together although it turned out that he was not God's choice for me, but God showed me through this encounter that if He wanted me to meet someone, it would occur just like that.

 

In other words, God can bring 2 ppl together anywhere, any time, even if one was marooned on a dessert island so to speak. He told me at the time, "What is that for Me?!"  It is an odd thing for Christian sisters that there are relatively very few on-fire Christian men. Any true Christian sister knows not to settle for less.

 

We want and deserve God's best. You could say it takes a total miracle for God to bring the right godly man into her life, because it is not like they are hanging out on every street corner or in every church.  So, His will is for us to be busy about the work of His Kingdom and should He will for us to marry it will happen when He chooses.

 

And God does not choose for all to marry, but either way, one will be fulfilled in Christ. One thing you said that I very much agree with is there are lots of men out there who will pretend to be a Christian in order to get a sister to go for him. Obviously, such men are not from God. Discerning sisters don't fall for that.

 

Sadly many sisters who are young in the Lord do and many a life has been ruined. That's why it is important to get this message out and I, personally, have warned as many sisters as I can. You know that part in wedding ceremonies where the preacher says if anyone disagrees with the union to speak up now or forever hold their peace? Well you notice, no one ever does speak up and that is sad. I believe all believers should know the Word and counsel others to know it so sisters and brothers, too, don't wind up in the predicament of a failed marriage.

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Permalink Reply by David Velasquez on November 3, 2011 at 9:04am

Thanks for Sharing Jane.

 

God bless you

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Permalink Reply by Jane Smith on November 4, 2011 at 6:53pm

Your welcome, David. I appreciate you too.

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Permalink Reply by sayness on November 10, 2011 at 4:43am

thanks for all your replies brothers and sisters. God has given me discernment on how to detect fake ones. You know they love to use God as their instrument to get into our lives. But behind the curtain they are of the devil! It's so sad because God is being used for their sensual desires.

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