I am 4 months away from my weddiing and I just found out that my fiance wants to keep all our finances seperate i.e. bank accounts. Also, he is going to keep his mom as the beneficiary for his retirement. He says he thinks if he names me, i will keep all of it for myself. We have no children, its just me and him.He doesnt understand why Im upset that he wants to name his mom (who just bought a multi million dollar home and tells him she doesnt have any money to help us with our wedding that we are paying for ourseleves. He says Im trying to make this about money but while yes, thats part of it, Im more upset that he doesnt think that he needs to provide for me. Am I not going to be his family? Im so hurt by some of the things he has said and th fact that he obviously doesnt even kniw me if he thinks I would keep everything of his for myself and away from his family. I dont know if I can marry someone that has that kind of opinion of me. what do I do?
Yes a man should provide for his wife in Ephesians Chapter five it talks about husbands and wives and how the husband should treat his wife and be one...
Wives and Husbands
22Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. 23For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
25Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26to make her holy, cleansing[b] her by the washing with water through the word, 27and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church— 30for we are members of his body. 31"For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh."[c] 32This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
Sorry for adding the whole section from the bible but I figure it is best to be read as whole like this...... a part from the whole notion of being one I would also focus on the love between the two of you ....does money really matter or does this have to do with trust? I would talk to him about the things that are keeping him from the idea of sharing as one.
ok guys, after a long conversation,prayer, and starting counseling, my Fiance and I realized that this whole conversation was a mis-understanding. I was talking about after we were married, and he was talking about what the situation is now. He says, of course I will be the only benifactor after we are married! needless to say I am very relieved and praise God! Thanks for your advice and prayers! Blessings!
I have been married 30 years and could not even imagine having my mother on anything of mine. If he isn't willing to combine bank accounts what else isn't he willing to do? You need to have some serious prayer time with God. Most people don't change after marriage they improve on themselves hopefully but a commitment to mom will probably not change. Think hard and long. You look young don't make a mistake now that will affect you for a life time. When you truly love someone you don't have to ask peoples opinion of what to do you know what is right in your heart.