All About GOD - Growing Relationships with Jesus and Others
Responding to people who like to remind us of our past.
I have an old 'friend' who likes to remind me of my past.
Sometimes people don't want to let us move on.
How do you respond to people that we are 'new' without sounding self righteous, giving God the Glory?
What if that person doesn't want to acknowledge that you are new, and continues to bring up the 'old'?
2 Cor 5
16Therefore from now on we recognize no one according to the flesh; even though we have known Christ according to the flesh, yet now we know Him in this way no longer. 17Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come. 18Now all these things are from God, who reconciled us to Himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation, 19namely, that God was in Christ reconciling the world to Himself, not counting their trespasses against them, and He has committed to us the word of reconciliation.
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Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Carla on
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Amanda,
I'm sorry that what I said came across that way. Of course grieving is normal and genuine.
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Permalink Reply by Amanda on
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I think I'm just trying to face a horrible reality and am dealing with a real situation that a good many people might be experiencing at the very same moment and asking the very hard question of how do you find comfort when you believe someone you love is suffering in Hell?
When people talk about their emotions, it's easy to think they are indulging in them but actually there are two sides of the coin and destructive indulgence in emotions is one side of it. I tend to fall on the other side of it which is suppressing emotions, pushing them away and burying them and stuffing them down because frankly they hurt and it's better to be numb. But that causes depression. To feel or not to feel, that is the question. I'm just trying to feel this grief and to talk about it without indulging or suppressing emotions but just deal with it as it comes up, as it is arising. That's all. Let's forget it and get back to the topic.
We all dwell on the past from time to time and when things happen in the present, it can bring up the past. When people remind us intentionally of our past sin, it's normal to want them to see you in a new light but if they won't, and if they're beating you up over your past mistakes, then it's probably best to just let those people go. If you can handle it and still want to spend time with them, then do your best to live in the new light that you want them to see you in, in front of them, so that they may see your good works and glorify God. Matthew 5:16
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Permalink Reply by Tammy on
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Amanda, last time I personally replied to you if I recall, we were talking about your sister. I was praying for her. I'm so sorry to hear that she has passed. I cannot imagine the loss. And on top of the loss, you not knowing of her eternal salvation can't be easy either. Please know that I'm lifting you in my prayers. I know those words seem so weightless in such a heavy world but I did want you to know that I'm sorry. Love you.
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Thank you, Tammy. My heart is broken. Today, the minister of the church that we've visited the past two Sundays paid us a visit and I did have the chance to tell him a little bit about her and to ask him if there's any hope. He basically said what most say ... she had a choice and people explained the true gospel to her and there's nothing more that can be done for her. He didn't seem to be of the mind that many people's hearts radically change in their final moments, if any at all do. I asked what do you tell those who need comforting when grieving for a loved one who is probably in hell. She suffered so much before dying in her final weeks and that was hard to see and know about and now to think she's suffering far worse. He said he has lost loved ones, too, and it has increased his desire to tell others the gospel. He said he trusts that God is a righteous judge. He told me he was very sorry. I cried. I didn't want to cry. I can't even talk about it right now without crying. He said to grieve. God understands.
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Yes He does understand. I know on one post, one member said that they don't grieve over those who he feels never accepted Christ & has died without Him. I don't understand that. I don't want to keep on delving on this situation because I know it's too painful. Just know I'm praying for you. Try staying in touch with the church even when it's really really difficult for you to get out. That can make a huge difference. I know it's difficult for you to put yourself really out there but still take what comfort they can give. Love you
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Amanda, I have those flashbacks from time 2 time myself. It just blows me away when I think of who that person use to be. Makes me sick to my stomach. When I catch myself, I then start praying & focusing on who I am today & to Whom I belong. I usually get a grip on it quickly & am done with it but sometimes those thoughts go further than I would have wanted.
Fortunately, I don't have others around me reminding me of my past. The enemy, as well as just my rotted memories, does it well enough on its own. I also had a beautiful daughter walking around high as a kite reminding me of my past. It wasn't that I lived that life in front of her but seeing her that way put enough reminders in my face to last a lifetime. Praise God, she's been sober for about 4 months & is doing absolutely fabulous. The memories will always haunt us but praise God, He's placed more memories that override those horrid days as they grow dimmer.
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Yes. That's what I was saying. It's not just people who like to, but I battle the spiritual enemy everyday as well as myself. I avoid people for the most part, so they don't get much of a chance to remind me, and when I visit family, they are fairly civil in front of me. I know I'm talked about after leaving because it gets back around to me. It's really true (true for one and all) what is said in Luke, Whatever you have said in the dark will be heard in the light, and what you have whispered behind closed doors will be shouted from the housetops for all to hear! (12:3)
It hurts, yes. But I accepted that long ago.
My two oldest sisters pretty much shunned me all of my adult life because of my Christian beliefs. They studied with JWs for well over 25-30 years. They were much older and the age difference itself was always a gap.
Yet, my oldest sister was the oldest of us children and she often had to care for us while our parents worked even after she married at age 19 and moved away from home.
Often, we younger ones were dropped off at her apartment for her to babysit.
My youngest sister and I were discussing our memories of her and of that time, and she said she remembers the JWs coming to study with our oldest sister even then. She said she could remember them being at our oldest sister's apartment when we were there and she always thought what they were saying was distorted. She said, "Even as a child I knew that." I knew it, too, and I don't understand why our two oldest sisters fell into all of it. I believe my oldest sister died without Christ, and my other oldest sister will likely do the same. She rejects everything that refutes JW teachings about Jesus even more adamantly now. I hope God will break through to her.
But God has brought something good out of this dark time.
As my youngest sister and I have shared, have reminisced, and have leaned on one another through this, I've been witnessing to her and sharing with her throughout all of it my understanding of the gospel and how my beliefs differ from our two oldest sisters' beliefs, and what she and I have discussed has made sense to her, and she has recommitted her life to Christ.
PS this makes me happy to hear about your daughter. I remember you sharing here about it as it was happening and I prayed for her and you, too.
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Permalink Reply by Martin Simpson on
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They are suggestion my friend, it's not the friend it's whats talking through them, flaming arrows of the enemy, for we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, the strongest weapon we have is the word of God, the sword of the spirit, the old man trys to pull us back into his thinking but JESUS gave us the authority to trample on scorpion and snakes, so tell these reminding voices to go away in Jesus name, BIND THEM AND SEND THEM TO THE ABYSS, say man should not eat bread alone but every word that comes out of the mouth of GOD Amen, Jesus freed us from the bondage of sin, but we will be tempted, and the more we keep those suggestion in our heads, we entertain them they can be a stumbling block to go back in the older lifestyle, be strong Brethren and resist and tell them to go away, whether is friends outward or voice inward, do the same, just like Our Lord Jesus did in the desert when he was tempted, he gave us the words to say AMEN
Luke 6:27But I say unto you which hear, Love your enemies, do good to them which hate you, 28Bless them that curse you, and pray for them which despitefully use you. 29And unto him that smiteth thee on the one cheek offer also the other; and him that taketh away thy cloke forbid not to take thy coat also. 30Give to every man that asketh of thee; and of him that taketh away thy goods ask them not again. 31And as ye would that men should do to you, do ye also to them likewise. 32For if ye love them which love you, what thank have ye? for sinners also love those that love them. 33And if ye do good to them which do good to you, what thank have ye? for sinners also do even the same. 34And if ye lend to them of whom ye hope to receive, what thank have ye? for sinners also lend to sinners, to receive as much again. 35But love ye your enemies, and do good, and lend, hoping for nothing again; and your reward shall be great, and ye shall be the children of the Highest: for he is kind unto the unthankful and to the evil. 36Be ye therefore merciful, as your Father also is merciful.
Be blessed brethren
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Permalink Reply by thewatchman on
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I am not sure that we need to respond in words and I'm not sure that that's exactly why they're reminding us of who we once were. Perhaps they are feeling some kind of conviction...? If that person doesn't acknowledge that you are new and continue's to bring up the 'old', they are looking for some kind of reassurance or assent for the lifestyle that maybe they continue to live? I don't know and I am not sure it makes a difference if I understand their reason.
I don't necessarily believe it's to belittle me/you, I view it as an opportunity to glorify God and to witness to them.
I personally see it as a time to not only be reminded of what the Lord has done for me, but a time to rejoice, be thankful, and grateful that others are reminding me of from where I came from. It's ugly....for the most part and hurtful when others belittle or bring back icky memories and sometimes satan uses those very things to chip away at our faith and confidence in the Lord. BUT....God can turn it around and make it something useful, good, beautiful, and lovely. Nobody that I know of has nothing in their past that they aren't ashamed and horrified by. It's a wonderful way to reach out to others and if they choose to continue to ignore the change in me/us....then it's okay, it's their choice....I just keep thinking some day...some day....they will see
"There but for the grace of God, go I."
Much Love to you Carla for all you do!
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