All About GOD - Growing Relationships with Jesus and Others
MY HUSBAND WANTS ME TO LEAVE MY CHURCH
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by David Velasquez on
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Hey beloved Vero,
I have send you a message asking about specifics about this, but for now I will tell you that sis Robin (A good friend) was taken out of one church and led to another.
I heard the video and I like it. I place this quote in my latest Forum discussion:
>>"Divisions and separations are most objectionable in religion. They weaken the cause of true Christianity.- But before we blame people for them, we must be careful that we lay the blame where it is deserved. False doctrine and heresy are even worse than schism. If people separate themselves from teaching which is positively false and unscriptural, they ought to be praised rather than reproved. In such cases separation is a virtue and not a sin.
The old saying must never be forgotten, "He is the schismatic (a participant in or cause of a schism/division) who causes the schism"... Controversy in religion is a hateful thing... But there is one thing which is even worse than controversy, and that is false doctrine, allowed, and permitted without protest or molestation. ... " Iain Murray . .
So I agree with the need to leave a church (a group of brothers and sisters) that are not sound in doctrine, but of course we can't ever leave the church/the body of Christ/the bride and even the brothers we no longer habitually congregate with, we love and long to bless with the truth in God's timing and in love.
God's word makes it clear as a command that we should not forsake the assembling together as some do, so bear with me here sis as (you know I have no intentions to offend) I endeavor to balance what I think is being said.
This is what I hear and please correct me if I am wrong:
1. There are unhealthy churches full of a water down Gospel that concentrates on materialism etc or cult believes from which God is calling His people out.
2. Fellowship is a must, so seek to fellowship quickly in a local healthy church.
3. Maybe God also wants you to start a bible study at home with your neighbors as you also bless a healthy local congregation.
4. As persecution of the church increases the church may even have to go underground for some reasons, but the church will not stop fellowshipping for its God's command.
Is that basically correct beloved.
Blessings
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Permalink Reply by David Velasquez on
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WOW - now this one is a tough one to answer.
On the one hand you can tell your hubby: well leave then, and trust God to make him see his error.
Let me share this with you before I go on. The number one thing a woman requires for a man to give her (in general) is Security, stability.
The number one thing a man needs from the woman (in general) is Respect.
So knowing that and knowing that God calls you to:
1 Peter 3
Submission to Husbands
1 Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives, 2 when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear. 3 Do not let your adornment be merely outward—arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel— 4 rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God. 5 For in this manner, in former times, the holy women who trusted in God also adorned themselves, being submissive to their own husbands, 6 as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, whose daughters you are if you do good and are not afraid with any terror.
Go church shopping with your hubby sis. May God lead you and your family to a healthy church where sound doctrine is preach is my prayer for you.
Be blessed and a blessing
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Permalink Reply by AAG Netguy on
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Personally, I don't think your husband is being unreasonable. He is not being selfish, he just wants to have a connection with you. That is why he is saying he wants to go to another church with you. Spending time loving him and respecting him has more potential in bringing him back to Christ than all your church activities.
Imagine the shoe being on the other foot with one of his interests (e.g. hunting, bowling, sports, etc.). How would you feel if he were gone "all day Sunday, every other Monday eve, tues..., weds...., fri eve also."
How much time are you spending working on your relationship? Sounds to me like practically nil. I don't think you'll have a marriage much longer if you keep this up. You want to honor God, but the divorce you are heading toward definitely will not do that. Sorry, I strongly disagree with your pastor's advice in this case and feel your pastor is being somewhat selfish to not do anything about your impending disaster! A loving, solid marriage will speak a better testimony to the world than all your years of church service. I can guarantee that you will deeply regret it if you two divorce over this.
Try cutting back to just the Sunday activities (or just Sunday morning and one other evening a week) and see what happens. He is not telling you to give it all up is he? Tell him he is worth more than all the other activities and that your relationship with him is job #1. See what kind of reaction you get. I bet he softens quickly.
Grace be with you!
Greg
TheNET Coordinator
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Permalink Reply by Nienie on
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HI Rose
Hmm you got a tricky one here....!!
To tell you how i feel in my heart... nothing must come between you and your relationship with the Savior!
But...
YOur hubby suggest that you search for a church together... that show that he is not against church(actually he is not against God), maybe he got hurt through someone you are not aware of... he maybe drifted away but in his heart he is still yearning for the fellowship..maybe he feel insecure for you are so much involved in the church and he doesnt has a place in your life, the church become a 'threat' to him.Maybe he is hungry to work for the Lord again but havent got the courage.... I dont think he is asking you to give up God...
My dear you know i am a woman and I know sometimes we can get so caught up in church(doing this and that ) ...that we loose perspective...
If you love your hubby... try just to make bit time for him...just walk that extra mile(i know we dont feel like it, but maybe just that could save a marriage)
My dear it is not a specific church that brings you to God but the relationship you have with Him, and how wonderful it would be if you and your hubby could serve the living God together, it could be an example for your children and to those around you.
If you read Jer 31:22 we as women are suppose to compass (win, woo and protect) our husbands, the word says God has made a new thing.
I am not saying leave your church but if you love your hubby and want to spent your life with him and the children you have together, win, woo and protect him by loving him and eventually serving the almighty GOd together
PRay and seek the face of God my sister, He has the answers for you!
Will be praying for you but keep in touch!
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Permalink Reply by Gayla on
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Father God, only you truly know what should be done here, I pray for complete clarity for this dear sister, please speak to her of your will, so that she will know and understand what you would have her to do. Amen.
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Permalink Reply by Rose on
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Thank you my brothers and sisters for all your responses and prayers. It's been so encouraging, and helpful to read everyone's suggestions - and I realise you all seem to be in agreement in what you say. I am trusting the Lord to guide me to do what is right in this situation, and I agree, my husband is not asking me to compromise my relationship with the Lord - he is at least showing he's willing to seek a church we can all go together, which actually is not something I can ignore, considering a few years back he was completely rejecting the idea. I think sometimes when we pray we can miss when God is working in our situation because we expect to see our prayers answered in a certain way. But I realise the issue here is all about winning my husband's soul back to Christ, even, I guess, if that might mean me having to change church.
I think my Pastor's advice was based on him seeing it as the enemy bringing about a situation to get me out of a church the Lord has placed me in, because when I asked him if he were in my position would he not at least consider his willingness to go to church - he said no because what i'd been praying for was for him to come to the church i'm already in.
Thanks again everyone, and be blessed in Jesus name.
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Thanks for your reply. I read your link, and yes, it's confirmation that it's my duty is to remain in submission to my husband even though he's not in the place he should be right now in his Christian life. My husband was previously in church (before I met him), was baptized etc, but has now drifted, and has an attitude where he's suspicious of churches that its all about money etc. Some time ago though, he did start talking about wanting to go to church, but absolutely flatly refuses to come to the church I'm in - and actually at one point threatened to leave unless I left my church, & its this that's causing the problem. All the rest of the family are in this church but him, and I'm v involved in various ways in church. Does submitting to my husband mean leaving a church I'm well grounded in, (also the children) to start all over again at a new church? Spkng to my Pastor, its his view that me leaving would be an example of allowing something to get in the way in my Christian life.....
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I will echo AAG The NET guy here:
How much time are you spending working on your relationship? Sounds to me like practically nil. I don't think you'll have a marriage much longer if you keep this up. You want to honor God, but the divorce you are heading toward definitely will not do that. Sorry, I strongly disagree with your pastor's advice in this case and feel your pastor is being somewhat selfish to not do anything about your impending disaster! A loving, solid marriage will speak a better testimony to the world than all your years of church service. I can guarantee that you will deeply regret it if you two divorce over this.
Go church shopping with hubby. God is everywhere and you can serve Him there. Seek a healthy church.
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