All About GOD - Growing Relationships with Jesus and Others
In love with a girl
Hello,
I am soon to be 17 years old, and I have a crush on a girl. She is in the same class as me at school, and in the same church. I have been loving her since I first saw here for almost 4 years ago. (My feelings have of course been up and down sometimes) I doubt she know how I feel, but I doubt even more that she feels the same for me. I think of her way to much, and my grades have probably been worse because of that. I want her to be where I am, and I feel jealous whenever an another person have good contact with her. I hope that I can be able to be happy as long as she is happy.
I don't want to be in a relationship with anyone, before we both are sure that marriage is the goal, so that is clear. Therefore I think I have to get know her even better, before I can tell her how I feel. I sometimes talk to her, and even sometimes I feel we have a nice connection. But one of my best friends have had the same feelings for her as me, and after many conversations with her, and my friend really believing she was interested in a relationship too, he asked her if she wanted a relationship, and she said no. (Hope you understand what I tried to tell)
I guess there are many husbands and wifes in this forum who can help me. I wonder what God and the Bible says about why a person get in love with a person like me? Is it because God is showing me that she actually is my future wife and he's going to make that happen in a miraculous way? Or is it just my feelings who get in control, and that it is just that I love that I think I love her?
Thank you so much for any answer, especially Bible verses. I am in desperate need for answers. When I just imagine holding her hands my heart is singing... But I want even more to serve God.
David.
Views: 178
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Imperator on
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My dear brother David,
You're feelings are very natural, God designed it this way so that when a person reaches puberty, their hormones take over their body and they start to think about procreation. However, you have to be very careful as you have to make sure that you really are in love with that person and that person is in love with you. In the 'world', for example, this is often used as an excuse for teenagers to sleep around, which is a sin.
I suggest you talk to the girl and get to know her a little better and see if you are both compatible.
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Permalink Reply by David on
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Thank you so much Imperator and Linda. You are both lovely who take time to give me advices. I think I'll try to get to know her better, and more importantly pray and read. Its gonna be hard though, I don't believe I can do it myself. So I can only trust in Him.
It's kinda funny because one of my best friends is the twin brother of the girl I like. I talk to him a lot, so maybe through him I have the chance to get to know her.
Thank you again,
David.
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Permalink Reply by David Velasquez on
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Dude you totally gave me flashback hahahaha
I was in the same predicament at the same age as you man.
I like this girl, man did I like her. I would dream with her. The classes we shared I failed because I was always looking at her and never paying attention to the class. hahahaha I was a mess when she would be around. I mean I liked this grill. Her name was Cynthia. ohhh man she was pretty and smart. A killer combo. After three years of loving her in silence and never getting the guts to go for it, (I was still learning the English langue at that time and had an accent and thought she would never go for me because of that etc...) she was moving. She approached me before moving and asked me if I ever liked her and I told her I was nuts about her and she got so mad. She told me she liked me too and asked me why I never approached her and I told her why and she said I was very silly. hahahaha
Why am I telling you that story? Well because I swore from that day on never, NEVER to go through that again. I learned that the is worst to never try than to try and failed. I never went through that again. From there on if I like someone I would go for it. I still apply that principle in my life today. God places many dreams/visions in my heart that He wants to accomplish through me and yet I have a hard time believing Him. How can God want to use a knuckle head like me I asked myself, but God is good and tells me to believe.
All that to say - The worst that can happen is a "NO I am not interested" and you are not going to die with a no.
The thing is bro that I was not a Christian, back them. Now I am and I do everything according to God's will in that regards.
I have never as a Christian considers a relationship with a person who is not a Christian or with a Christian who is only a confessing Christian, but not one by practice. You talk to the girl you said so you should already know if she is a believer, an active believer or not.
So is she a believer? Is she someone who has potential for marriage? I know, I know that is a huge question and some will probably say that at your age you should not be concern with such matters. But I disagree with that mentality and tell you young man that dating is not just to have someone to talk to, kiss or go to the movies or even church with.
It is a process we use when we see potential for marriage. Now prayer is a must. God will not always confirm through signs etc. who we should marry. He has set parameters in His word which we use as qualifiers.
So why are you attracted to her? Is she an awesome Christian woman that wants to live in purity until marriage who wants to serve God with her husband?
If you answer no, then why are you so into someone you don't know?
Looking back at my own story I can tell you that I had no absolute truths to build my life upon, but you do. That of course does not mean you cannot go through what you are going through, but it does mean you have a God that will lead you and guide you through this ordeals. Seek Him and seek his wisdom in such matters.
You also have us. Your family in Christ. For asking your question and for desiring to do God's will I congratulate you young man.
The Lord bless you friend.
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Wow, David! You really gave me a breath taking reply! Thank you so much!
Yes, she is a believer. She is from an amazing Christian family, and sings in the church. She is absolutely a woman who wants to serve God with her husband I believe. She has just an amazing personality. Because of your reply I feel motivated to just tell her how I feel, whatever the answer is, I think it either will help me to move on with my life, or that I would be the happiest man on earth! I have thought about relationships and concluded with the same opinions as you have.
I can't imagine how I gonna get the guts to ask, but please pray for me that i will get courage and the she will give me the answer that is meant to be from God.
Thank you again! Gotta leave for soccer practice.
David.
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Glad to be of service my bro. Keep the questions comming. Praise God, He is good. You'll be in my prayers.
Dude i would totally kick your butty in soccer hahahahaha just kidding You would probably have me beat bad.
Lord bless you.
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My dear brother David,
The term 'soccer' is non existant outside of the USA. The correct term is football. As usual, the yankees hijacked the English language and made up a name that suits them. If you want I'll go through the history of the term 'soccer'.
:P
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Hahaha you are funny Imperator, but are you for real or are you just kidding?
David - give us an update when you get achance bro.
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Permalink Reply by geoff on
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My dear brother Imperator,
Of course we hijacked the English language, that's what we do!
However, it is not from arrogance, as many Brits seem to presume. It is simply that saying, "American football" and "Association football" is far too wordy.
See? We make it shorter, easier, better!
:P
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Haha, I always get a comment like that when I say "soccer": Where I come from we say "football" so I'm used to that. It is just that I don't want to be mixed up with the big, scary american football guys!
I haven't had the chance to talk to her yet, though. But I will keep praying and trying.
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Permalink Reply by Stacey Osana Arquines on
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Hi, Brother David
In all godliness as your friend in Christ I just want to add how cute you are for posting this :) <3 You are a responsible young man for seeking help ...quite admirable I must say :) <3 Sorry I do not wish to embarrass you or anything its just that what you have done is right on. :)
Coming from someone who is close to your age and in our generation of adolescence or "teen" stage. I would follow the advice of the elders here as it seems like you are (good to hear) they are wise and I most def would pray about this and ask for the courage from God to push forth no rush tho.....there are distractions everywhere in this world so do focus on Jesus in everything make sure your attraction is not one of human desires and that your attraction to her is in Godliness not that I am doubting you just to put it forth....know that I am cheering you on from a distance :) <3 . Jesus is with you through it all with every step... He's your buddy standing right there with you even as you read this. Whatever the outcome may be know that God has a great plan for you no matter what :)
here is a verse that comes to mind you can read the whole psalm but this one mainly
"Hold up my goings in thy paths, that my footsteps slip not." Psalm 17:5 KJV
-stay in the light and like sista Linda said "take every thought captive and bring it into obedience to Christ Jesus"
On the side note do be careful with your feelings, you should not go off of feelings but rather assurance that what is being told is for the will of God.... trust in the Lord always
Sirach (Ecclesiasticus) Chapter 34: 6-9
"Unless it be a vision specially sent by the Most High, fix not your heart on it;
For dreams have led many astray,
and those who believed in them have perished.
The law is fulfilled without fail
and perfect wisdom is found in the mouth of the faithful man.
A man with training gains wide knowledge;
a man of experience gains sense"
You may very well gain a new lesson or something new from this experience to become wiser and wider in knowledge. Everyday is a learning experience absorb all that you can learn in a day for the Glory of God. Transform what you learn into a beautiful testimony that can be a blessing to all who read about your life in Christ.
I have been on both sides of this predicament from deep feelings to day dreaming and distractions.... to jumping and being in all happiness.. I survived thanks be to God.... I have been in glee and I have been crushed (ouch, tis good tho), never did I give up on the Lord :) I go on into new adventures with the Lord being steadfast and prepared for anything that comes my way to either tackle on or glide through; either way the Lord is with you through the ups and downs and all arounds lol. Look for the good in all...reject the bad and stay head strong in the Lord with an open heart, mind, ear, and all else for the Glory of God. I hope all works out for you and that your patience in marriage is everlasting
God Bless you in all loving kindness,
your sista/friend in Christ Stacey A. :) <3
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I think you should go with the flow and experience this world and its beautiful journey. Consider her to be a part a chapter in your book. Pray to God -- and He will guide you to the right way. Love her, smile, and cherish!
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