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I dont know how to feel right now, going from bad to worse

Hello,

I know my topic had been up here way too many times.

I attend Catholic Church for the sake of keeping my family together (long story short, I ended up believing that the last thing God wants is for my family to split every Sunday).

Sorry, I'm not that good in English language, I hope you understand my point and I hope not to upset anyone. I have no-one to talk to.

My daughter is due to start catechism I went to church like every Sunday and in the evening I decided to go to confession, something I don't normally do. I just wanted to chat with the priest, I still don't know why I told him, among other things, that sometimes I feel like an hypocrite to either myself or God. That there are certain things in Catholic Church I couldn't do, and that the way the Bible was revealed to me was different in many aspects.

I told him that I normally communicated to God through Jesus and that I did not "use" Mary or saints to get to Him, I regretted it instantly. The priest wasn't happy and I understand but the worst was that he said to me that God doesn't speak to me or to anyone, that he always used prophets and that it was the same the other way around. So when the people in the wedding wanted more wine, they did not ask Jesus directly but Mary, that Mary agreed to be Jesus' mother because of her free will so we need to look up at her because if it wasn't for her Christ would not have come. That he didn't need to convince me of anything.

For some reason, I feel really bad now, I am pretty tired of the whole thing and of not wanting to offend my Catholic husband, I'm so tired, sad, confused, etc. And then I do not want all these prefabricated stories to be fed to my daughters.

I feel very lost right now.

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Permalink Reply by Jim on December 11, 2016 at 5:13pm
Dear Virginia I was raised Catholic. When I got out of school I quit going to church 18 years and I never felt forgiven or felt humbled .It was a ritual same thing every Sunday. And i lost faith.I had so many questions that seemed no one knew the answer to.So I gave up on God.I am now 60 years old now. The other night for some reason it came to me the truth about the bible. And get the answers to my questions.I feel reborn. So Virginia don't be like me tell your husband how you really feel. If he truly loves you he will understand. Good luck
Permalink Reply by Virginia on December 12, 2016 at 11:20am
Oh well Jim, I really tried to explain it's just that he will never let me take our daughters to any other church, and I actually haven't identified any other church I would like to go, let alone the fact that that would separate my family. The situation has been ongoing for years now. All I can do is listen to good sermons and keep reading my Bible, then Sunday is another matter.

Thank you Jim.
Permalink Reply by Virginia on December 12, 2016 at 11:23am
Dear Eric,

I certainly feel strong in what I believe, I only wish I could go far away from the Catholic Church and uts practices but with my family with me.

I've prayed a lot about it but God wants it to be this way for now.

I appreciate your comments, God bless you.
Permalink Reply by Tammy on January 10, 2017 at 10:14pm

Hi Virginia. Sorry that I just seen this. I praise God that He has begun to reveal to you the truth behind the false doctrines of the Catholic Church. I have done a good bit of studying on the Catholic Church & I'm sure the few things I've learned thus far is just a drop in the bucket. My suggestion would be that you get deep into the Word. Study the contradictions that are there that they teach, one of which is praying to dead folks. There are so many things they teach that isn't Biblical. If your husband is the type of man that you can sit down & have a discussion with, sit him down & show him these facts after you've got proof without a shadow of a doubt. 

Just for example, they teach Mary was perfect. As we know, no one was perfect aside from Christ. They teach so many things wrong about Mary when she was nothing more than you or I other than the fact that she was highly favored & carried the Christ child. I'm sure she was an awesome young lady but she was included in the verse For all have sinned & fallen short of the glory of God. She, too, needed a Savior & even said as much. 

I'll be more than happy to work with you on this if you would like for me to. You can reply to me here or send me something in my inbox as well. We can do it right here & others can help us by sharing their input as well along with prayers. We'll bust heaven wide open & bring your entire family to the full truth of the gospel. Soon, your husband will see clearly. In the meantime, he will see something different about you as you grow in the knowledge of the Lord. 

Permalink Reply by Virginia on January 12, 2017 at 8:21am

Hi Tammy,

Thank you for taking the time to reply.

I gave up on my husband already, I do not think we will never agree on anything related to religion but I am fine with that. Maybe one day my daughters will get to know the truth as I did, by God's Grace.

I will let Him do His job, I do not think I am the one to try to change anything in my household, at least for now. I am, and sometimes I think I will always be, a baby in Christ. It's like I take one step ahead and two backwards but anyways, I am happy to keep trying until the end.

It's just that sometimes I feel I am missing out in learning so much I could learn by going to a church that is not Catholic... but I am sure God is teaching me something through what I have to go through every Sunday hahahaha, who knows, right?

Thank you again.

God Bless you.

Permalink Reply by Tammy on January 12, 2017 at 8:49pm

Have you considered going to another church through the week? Churches have services on Wednesday nights as well as Bible studies on other days of the week. They also have Women Bible Studies. Maybe find a nondenominational church close by & see if they have any services through the week & try attending then & go with your family on Sundays. As you grow in the Lord, just them seeing you & you living the example will be His testimony. Our lives are a light to so many that we don't have to say a word many times. You'll be surprised the words that it will speak to your husband as well. Just remember, it's not the husband who we have our hope in but the Lord. If we had our hopes in people, we'd be up a creek without a paddle. In the meantime, stay in His Word & continue to seek Him. 

Permalink Reply by David Velasquez on January 10, 2017 at 11:05pm

Virginia your situation is very delicate. I believe you are blessing many by how you are going about handling it. 

I am sure your predicament lends it self for getting weary, but keep fueling your self with the word. God is able beloved to change any and all situations. 

Be encourage sister, joy comes in the morning.

keep loving your hubby/family in a sacrificial way. Love  your husband in such a way that he wants to know the one that loves you so well, that his loves spills out and over to him. 

:)

Permalink Reply by Virginia on January 12, 2017 at 8:14am

Thanks David,

I will follow your advice. 

My regards to your beautiful family.

Permalink Reply by Mary O on January 12, 2017 at 6:22am

Hi Virginia, God bless you!

I was raised Catholic. Here's an idea. If my memory is correct, we used to have 1 or maybe 2 scripture readings during mass. You could write down the scripture readings. Later, pull out your Bible and read them to your children and talk about them. Or if a different verse comes to mind, write that down. Surely they didn't cover everything during mass? Is there something more you would like your children to think about? Maybe this could become a bedtime activity? Read a couple Bible verses and talk, sing a song, draw a picture. Another thought is write down the things you are praying for and pray for them with your children. Like grandparents, school concerns, etc. Children can be a great prayer team. 

God's Love,

Mary

Permalink Reply by Virginia on January 12, 2017 at 8:15am

Thanks Mary,

I think that is a great idea. I already have discussions with my daughters who already seem to have a lot of questions, that makes me happy.

God Bless you

Permalink Reply by ampersand on January 21, 2017 at 2:48am
Hi Virginia,

I'm new here but I can relate to not having someone to talk to, and especially to being afraid of getting judged about something you think.

I am biased in that, although I respect all faiths, having once had a strict Catholic partner I feel the Catholic Church specifically uses guilt, fear, and shame to "persuade" the congregation.
I also went to confession, and the priest used a similar tactic on me:
had me confess, made me feel really overly guilty and shameful, then used that guilt and shame to make me come back week in week out.

I look at it like this, god is all around us.
I imagine it similar to a play at the theatre, i am the main protagonist, the world around me is the stage, and god is the director - moving the cast and props to me when I need them.

We are beings of light:
consciousness, soul and spirit energy that gods wants to experience, love, and feel;
whilst still giving us free will and freedom of expression and choice - but we have many layers between us and god that filter his light, which is why we don't directly see all his signs, gifts, and lessons.

Some religions try to bridge that gap such as jewish kabbalah practitioners, who try to make "corrections" to bring them closer to god.

or Buddhists, who practice different things, but some practice dualism and the belief that they ARE everything around them, but just reflected like a mirror.

Certain Idols are connected to god.
I think idols are like a spider web, some are close to the centre (the creator) some are further outside and have more jumps to the centre (source/god)
jesus and Mary are quite close to god.
even a voodoo idol from Haiti is connected to god, but through a long line of darker idols that make a pathway to god.
jesus said "all paths lead to my father".
I'm not comparing mary to a voodoo doll.

The point im trying to make is that god is everywhere, but most importantly where you believe he is.
your light, so long as you seek god, will be reflected by him;
"seek and you will find";
The most important thing is self belief, liberating yourself from doubt - do what you feel is right,
And keep hope faith and mercy in your heart.
The rest will fold itself around you, and cushion your world with love, if you notice it or not.

Blessings virginia
Permalink Reply by Virginia on January 21, 2017 at 9:15am

Ampersand,

So beautifully written, I love your point of view.

Liberation from doubt is the most important think to me, very hard also.

I feel guilty making all this about me: me not liking the church I go to, me finding it hard to believe sometimes, me not agreeing with others point of view, me, me and me. Very tiring and upsetting. I wish I could just let go of all of these interfering emotions.

Thank you very much for taking the time to reply.

God Bless

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