All About GOD - Growing Relationships with Jesus and Others
How do you get rid of Jealousy?
Introduction:
After Flunking Kindergarten, The following year I went into a class called Readiness. The point of the class were to help struggling students 'get ready' for the next grade. In my case it was to help me get ready for the First Grade. During my year in Readiness, I was tested for learning problems. It was determined that I had a Learning Disability and would require additional help. As part of the 'help' they suggested I should also be put on a drug called Ritalin. My parents couldn't understand why a medication which was often given to a Hyperactive Children would help me. Since no one knew the long term effects of using such a drug, they decided not to put me on the medication. In the following years I attended a secondary class in addition to my regular class. When I reached the Fifth Grade, the school decided that I was too good to have my regular work cut in half. So they made me do all the Learning Disability work in addition to the regular classroom work. (My parents were told by a friend that they shouldn't allow the school to take me out of the special class since once you do it is hard to get back in) My Fifth grade teacher was also the mother of a learning disability child and her view on how to handle people like me was to 'cracked down'. She cracked down on me, and encouraged my parents to also crack down on me. Her way for a person like me to learn was to play less and study harder. All of the recesses were taken away from me. I spent the middle of day in detention. As you can imagine my social life wasn't any good. And it didn't help that the people as being forced to be around were the disobedient kids. In my on going struggles, I felt nothing but contempt for that teacher, and I didn't know if it would do any good to explain to my parents how I felt or not. I kept my mouth shut, mostly, and endured. Finally the L.D. Program allowed me to stop doing their work but stay in the program if I needed anything. This is the level I stayed at until I graduated.
The Learning Disability never went away. I still struggled through school, and I didn't have any social life nor did I have anytime for fun. Thankfully I had parents who were helpful when I did my 5 to 8 hours worth of homework a night. People used to pick on me all the time, and I didn't know how to defend myself.... As I struggled to make it through I was constantly amazed at how some students could practically pay no attention and still get passing grades. I imagine that many of the students didn't take the time to read the text books. How could they? It was taking me hours and hours and those students were also in after school activities. While I was working hard trying to survive my classes they were working hard practicing their sports.
As a result of my past, I struggle with some sins. One of the sins I struggle with is unforgiveness. I'm not sure if I have ever fully forgiven my Fifth grade teacher, and I am not sure if I have ever fully forgiven those that used to call me names, kick me in the hallways, shoot things at me, and smash my stuff. The other sin I struggle with is Jealously. Whenever I see someone moving on in life, I feel a sense unworthiness – and I feel Jealous because I've worked so hard in life and yet they have done things worse then I, and yet they get to move on get married have kids etc. When I'm still feeling stuck in the place I am.
After life has left you almost barren. How do you fight the sin of Jealousy and all those things that come with it? Believe me, I've prayed about it. And I feel I know what the Bible says about it. But these have never taken my pain away.
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Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Shanthi on
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Wow..you did go through loads of struggle in you childhood and growing up must have been tough for you. But isn't it great that God has given you the ability to write your thoughts so well and your struggles inspires the reader like me to know that others have gone through worse struggels than me and when one reads your blog they truly admire you for who you are...
I know the past can truly be difficult to forget and sometimes when we hear others say, hei God has forgiven you so don't worry about the past, the past is a past. I know how you feel, I too find it hard to forgive people at times, I say God I have forgiven them, but out off no where this dark angel reminds me of the past again and I feel guilty that actually I did not forgive them. You know, it is ok to feel that way....God is definately not upset with us to feel that way, in time, he will erase the sad memories from our mind and until than keep yourself occupied, think about good things and slowly but surely you will not remember the past.
Your teachers, the people who ridiculed your are bad memories, what they have done to you has made you stronger, the way you struggled in your life is what God wants, and you being jealous of others is not a sin...it is just a feeling that you wish you were like them, and you know what I have that feeling too..I do get jealous of my sisters and say how I wish I had her life. But you know what, the struggles that I went thru in my past has made me stronger than my sisters and brothers. They speak about me with admiration and that made me realise that Jesus did a wonderful work to uplift me in spirit and in strength and truly I know the even when I don't pray..he watches over me, and when I pray he smiles cos he knows I am ok...
By the way...it is ok to be different than others...may be we are slower in our studies or we don't have the luxuries as they do...just remember something Our Father in Heaven has planned something extraordinary for you and you will be rewarded soon....
Cheers Brother..you are a special person and God know that...
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Permalink Reply by Seek on
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Gregory, the Bible admonishes us to forgive others. If you have done that, you have done what it is required. You may need to do it again and again however as jealously comes back up until GOD, who is the only one who can truly do it, removes it from your heart. Over time, you may find it becomes less of an issue.
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Permalink Reply by Deserey Velasquez on
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Ok so first I wanted to say that I'm sorry you had such a tough time in your childhood. I don't know if this will necessarily help but I wanted to tell you some council that I have been given in my life.
All my life I lived a sheltered childhood. I was homeschooled all my life and never had the opportunity to build relationships with anyone my age due to my family was always moving and the churches we would go to never had a solid youth program. I do have a twin sister but we did not have a really good relationship due to some things that I am not going to go into detail on. I recognise that I was partially to blame and have with God's help done what I can to repair our relationship. I know God is working on my sister's heart and one day we will be able to rebuild our relationship. But it wasn't until I was in college that I finally started experiencing the freedom to do some of the things I wanted to do. I was going to college, I had a decent job where I was being paid pretty good for someone in college, I was very active in different activities I had taken on, and I had a lot of dreams and plans. But I one evening I made some bad choices. I trusted the wrong person and I put myself in a bad situation. As a result I ended up pregnant. I chose to keep my baby but as a result I gave up a lot of my dreams and plans that I had for my life. A lot of them just wasn't logical with a child and maybe some of them I will be able to do eventually but at that point none of it was the maine concern. What became most important was trying to support my daughter and being the best parent I could be for her. Now God's hand has been on my life and He has blessed me so much. I have beautiful parents who selflessly allowed me to live with them and helped me with my daughter when there were people at the church who wanted nothing to do with our family because I was pregnant and not married. And though my parents did everything they could to help me they couldn't protect me from the mocking or people giving me their opinions of what I did wrong to get me to the point I was at. I ended up quitting the job I had to move with my parents a couple months after having my daughter because I didn't think I could support my daughter on my own and I also needed to get away from where the guy was. Maybe it is ungrateful of me to have experienced the anger, resentment and jealousy that I did experience as I watched life go on around me. I saw my sister shortly after go on to get a career, move out and continue on living her life. Everywhere I there were people living their lives and then I would look at myself and see how I seemed to be "stuck". Understand I love my daughter very much but if I allow myself to compare where I am now to where I planned to be then nothing is as I planned. God continued to bless me. He put some wonderful ladies in my life who mentored me as I made the decission to forgive the guy who hurt me and the people who hurt me during my pregnancy. Also, as I struggled to forgive myself. When I wasn't looking for it God gave me a husband whom I love dearly. He is a wonderful husband who loves me and my daughter very much though I didn't think I would ever find anyone who would want to take us. I can look at my life and see how God has blessed me but if I allow it I can still feel that anger and frustration....this usually happens to me when I am not in the word like I should be. Anyhow all this was said to lead up to the council i was given. I was told that I should look for ways that I can bless other people....maybe there is someone around me that needs to be blessed or a need in the church I am able to meet. In looking at how I can be a blessing for others then it will get my focus off of myself and what happened and get it on the needs of others. I don't know how much of that you do but I would suggest that if you aren't involved in that already you should ask God to show you or give you the opportunities to meet some needs like that.
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Permalink Reply by David Velasquez on
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I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. Philippians 4:12
Jealousy is done away with by learning contentment.
How do you learn contentment you ask? Well, by following the example of Jesus who being God, humbled himself and became obedient unto death...
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My time also is a big concern Gregory, but one thing we can always do that takes none of our time really and is a huge help to others and will make us feel better in the long run no matter if we have a disability or troubles or whatever....that is to smile at people, to offer a hand where we can. Go through a drive through and pay for the guy behind you. Hold the door for someone. Go the extra mile. When we hurt, that's harder to do. But doing it will help us to stop hurting. I want to do much more than I do, but I simply cannot. So I pray God will open up doors for me to provide me with more time to help out in my church more, more finances to be a bigger blessing to others.
My pastor just preached on that last night....illness is not always because of sin. In fact, the disciples asked of Jesus, who sinned, this man or his parents? And Jesus told them neither. But it was glorify the Father in heaven. Perhaps He has plans for you on down the road that you don't see now that will glorify Him.
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