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Hi! I think this is my first time posting here.  I've been a Christian since childhood and am now a young woman under 35.  I'm about to finish college and during the past few years, I went through a lot of changes in my life.  I'm also single with no children.  I did suffer abuse when I was younger but am healing, but sometimes I still fall into negative behavioral patterns (i.e. shutting down, blowing up, being uncomfortable when I see couples showing affection in public). 

I came up in a strict Apostolic upbringing and was very active in my former church, even at a young age.  I'm not attending that church now for personal reasons and have been visiting other churches.  I also struggled with people pleasing, even while in college; I still have trouble saying now, even though I made some small improvements.

I wanted to provide this background information about myself to ask how can I finally embrace the love of God.  Since I've been visiting churches during these past couple of years, people have been coming up to me saying that Jesus Loves Me.  Even someone in the Christian assembly at my school told me that.  It's like they're saying that God is waiting on me to embrace Him.  I'm like saying, Jesus, I know You love me, but what am I'm missing?  How do I know that I'm embracing Your love?  How can I finally be satisfied in you?

I'm posting because I'm looking for help and prayer.  Everything I hear that Jesus Loves Me, I cry.  Plus, when I read scriptures, I cry.  What in my heart needs to be changed?  What do I have to give up?  How often do I have to surrender?  Has anyone else experienced this?  Thank you

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As crazy as this may sound, finding a church that you feel is yours will help answer some of these questions. Though you don't need a building to help you answer these questions, while I was reading your post, I just kept feeling that you need stability somewhere. 

Can I ask what makes you feel you're missing something? What dissatisfies you about His love? I think it's awesome that you cry when you read Scriptures. I love crying in the Lord.

As far as giving things up, He'll let you know if you continue seeking Him. As far as surrendering - the main surrender is the surrendering of your life for His will. If there are other strongholds in your life, He will make them apparent to you. 

One last thing is we can't always base His love off of our emotions. In Jeremiah, it tell us the heart is deceitful above all things so it's not our emotions we rely on. It's our faith in Him & His promises to us that we rely on. I know nothing I said really helped. Until I know more about the situation, I don't really know what else to say.

By the way, JESUS LOVES YOU

Hi Tammy I'm sorry I didn't give alot of information, but I was trying to cut back so I wouldn't write a book lol!  Anyway, I know I need more boldness and to overcome fear, mainly fear of what people might say.  For example, during the past year, I reconciled with my mother but before then friends and family members were telling me I needed to stay away from that negative environment (which is was, even though my mom is a believer) and that my mom was mentally unstable and to leave home.  Mind you, I'm in school full-time living on campus working two minimum wage jobs, taking 4 high level science and health classes, no husband, no other support.  Now that I'm finishing up school this week and moving back in, they (those friends and family members) are saying I need to get out of my comfort zone etc etc.   Then I was telling them about my experiences at my previous church and they told me I needed to get away because it was a toxic environment, even though I had been there almost all my life.  I did express my desire to them that I wanted to move out and get away from my previous church, but right now, I just miss everybody, especially since I'm about to graduate from college.  Now I'm dreading what they'll say.

Tammy, you're right, I need stability so badly, not just in terms of churches, but period!   And I entitled this message that I want to embrace God's love because I believe that's his message for me.  I know this message seems scattered but this is where I'm at now.

Plus, I had a very abusive and manipulative father.  He abused me in so many ways - emotionally, mentally, financially, spiritually, academically, and even sexually.  And he was considered an admired deacon in the church.  Anyway, my mother got back with him a few years ago after my grandmother died but recently separated from him again and reconciled with me - that's why people are telling me to stay away.  But I believed my mother has changed and plus, I need help!  Even though I miss my home church, I stayed away because he was back, charges weren't press against him; plus, I got tired of the legalism and unnecessary and petty drama at the church.  I hope this clears up some things.

That's a tough situation Monique. I will definitely be praying that He shows you His perfect desires for your life & you know without a shadow of a doubt what He's calling you to do. 

1John 4:15-19 15All who confess that Jesus is the Son of God have God living in them, and they live in God. 16We know how much God loves us, and we have put our trust in His love.  God is love, and all who live in love live in God, and God lives in them. 17And as we live in God, our love grows more perfect. So we will not be afraid on the day of judgment, but we can face Him with confidence because we live like Jesus here in this world.  18Such love has no fear, because perfect love expels all fear. If we are afraid, it is for fear of punishment, and this shows that we have not fully experienced his perfect love. 19We love each other because he loved us first.

Monique all that you are asking for already lives inside you.  For me I work at trying to live surrendered to His Will.  As you take your desire to discover His Love, and then add Faith, Trust is born.  It becomes more about what you are able to do for Him, then what you have to give up.  Again, for me as I ponder on what Jesus did, on what the Father, and the Spirit have done and do, I want only to Thank Him for it all.  Don't get me wrong, I am a "work in progress."  But, I have learned I Love God so very much.  This is only possible because He Loved me first.  We can never earn His Love, it is a Gift; the Gift.  Yet, I am able to be changed by it.   To trust it is there no matter how I feel.  From what I can gather from your words, I can see a heart tender, hurt some but, a real desire to know His Love.  His Love is there with you, if not you would not be asking the questions you are.  Open your heart up to Him, so He can show you He is there.  Luke 11:9 "And so I tell you, keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you.  Once the Light shines on things then they become part of the Light.  Maybe forgiveness is involved .   Maybe you just need to Trust.   We all have times like these, as long as we are open to the Spirit, He will shows us the path.  Lord Bless

Thank you so much!

Thank you so much!

Has anyone else experienced this? Yes, lots of folks.

If you know Jesus loves you and in return you believe in Him and the sacrifice God made for you on the cross, you don't need to change anything in your heart. God will help you make the changes. You just need to let Him work within you. Don't fight it, be still and know that He is.

Take a look at the links LT left and consider following them.

Tammy is correct, find other Christians to support you. Keep seeking God, who knows,this may just be trial to show you just how much you really want and need God. Be joyful in times of trials.

What do you have to give up? Everything. The truth is....we would have nothing without God and everything belongs to Him anyway. Be thankful for what you have, God gives us everything we need.

How often do you need to surrender? I do every day.

God bless.

I,Tammy, LT, A Servant...........and Jesus........love you,

Gary

God bless you and thank you for sharing :-D.  God has brought you this far and won't leave you if you stay with Him.

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