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Finding my way back

Hi everyone my name is Dazaun Rose , I have currently lost my way , I strayed away from God. You see I was just starting my journey in Christ 2 months in. I felt a connection with god. But I was also going through a lot if living arrangements ,money issues, and life just dumping all over me. I have been going through this for years , like a repeated test that I keep failing. I panicked and started doubting god. I felt as if he loved me I wouldn't be going through so much. Everybody else have nice things why can't I , I had gone through soo much I need a break. No matter where i turned I always failed again, like someone had control over my life. So I got angree and just started doing my own thing again sex, drinking, smoking you name it. I feel so ashamed . i don't know what to do . I became my old self again without knowing it . I opened up a door.

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Permalink Reply by Mary O on June 9, 2015 at 11:40am

Hi Dazaun, God bless you!

I would like to encourage you to not give up. I know what it's like to fail over and over again. When I first accepted Jesus, it was very dramatic. It was not easy. I used to have so many demonic attacks so aggressively coming at me that when something subtle came along I don't see it right away and failed miserably. I asked God...Lord how could I have not seen that? I told God I was sorry. I began working on seeing the more subtle things. We can work on the things we need to work on. You know what you need to work on. We can change because it's a deliberate decision to do so. It doesn't mean we never mess up again, but we can improve and ask for the Lord's help. He will help if we but ask. He can give us strength and wisdom.

I asked God why He wanted someone like me. I still ask Him why me. He said...You chose.  You can turn to God in a big way. All I'm asking you to do is to have a little faith that the things I'm sharing with you are true. God will draw close to you if you will first draw close to Him. You can put your trust in Him and rely on Him. You will not be disappointed.

Also, shut that door on satan's fingers please. He cannot come in unless you allow him too. You have power in the name of Jesus Christ. There is also power in the spoken Word of God.

Love,

Mary

Permalink Reply by Dazaun Rose on June 9, 2015 at 12:38pm
Thank you , but how do I go back . I just feel like nothing is going to change
Permalink Reply by Mary O on June 9, 2015 at 3:49pm

I love you Dazaun Rose. God bless you! I've told God I was sorry so many times. It's not a free pass to sin any time you like, but when you do, you know you have forgiveness. I like the gospels. Dig into the Bible. It's loaded with God's love and promises for us. It's time to change if you desire to. Have you accepted Jesus as your Lord? Romans 10:9,10. Maybe you haven't? That's the beginning. Start reading the scriptures daily. Go to church or a local fellowship. We have HOA weekly. You could join HOA. Join the ladies' group. Get involved praying for people.

Love,

Mary

Permalink Reply by Dazaun Rose on June 15, 2015 at 7:01pm
Change.... When. You have been going through the same thing for years. It gets discouraging
Permalink Reply by Carla on June 15, 2015 at 7:51am

Hi Dazaun,

Welcome to AAG.  Bev and Mary have given you great advice and encouragement here.

I wonder, what brought you to God in the first place? 

So many preachers are doing a great disservice and damage to the message of the gospel, because they teach people their 'best life now'.  That's not what God promises us.  These 'teachers' teach prosperity, and wealth and comfort...but God doesn't tell us we will have that. 

How did you hear about Jesus?  What did you hear?  Why did you repent and believe the gospel?  What did they tell you about the gospel?

Bless you... Love in Christ, Carla

Permalink Reply by Dazaun Rose on June 15, 2015 at 6:57pm
Hi Carla , I grew up in the church. My grandmother always told me that god has his hands over my life and I was special. God wanted to use me at a young age but I wanted to be normal. I was never popular and never had what the rest of these kids had. We were poor. I lived for money , breath it. I wanted better. The same thing always happened in my life. I would always have to live with other people. House to house place to place. Until I just said what is the use in believing in a god who always bless others. Cars , money and blessing. While I believe and keep going through the same thing. I gave up.
Permalink Reply by Carla on June 16, 2015 at 5:28am

Hi Dazaun,

We are all special in God's eyes.  God doesn't have favourites. 

We have a very real enemy....and he's very persuasive at what he does.  Satan knows our temptations and our weaknesses.  He used the same tactics with Jesus as he does with us.  We can learn from this.  We can also know with assurance, that Jesus overcame the temptations of the enemy, so we know He totally and completely relates to everything we are going through, and in God's Power and Strength, with all that He has already given us (His Word), we can too.

The Temptation of Jesus

4 Then Jesus was led by the Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted there by the devil. 2 For forty days and forty nights he fasted and became very hungry.

3 During that time the devil[a] came and said to him, “If you are the Son of God, tell these stones to become loaves of bread.”

4 But Jesus told him, “No! The Scriptures say,

‘People do not live by bread alone,
    but by every word that comes from the mouth of God.’[b]”

5 Then the devil took him to the holy city, Jerusalem, to the highest point of the Temple, 6 and said, “If you are the Son of God, jump off! For the Scriptures say,

‘He will order his angels to protect you.
And they will hold you up with their hands
    so you won’t even hurt your foot on a stone.’[c]”

7 Jesus responded, “The Scriptures also say, ‘You must not test the Lord your God.’[d]”

8 Next the devil took him to the peak of a very high mountain and showed him all the kingdoms of the world and their glory. 9 “I will give it all to you,” he said, “if you will kneel down and worship me.”

10 “Get out of here, Satan,” Jesus told him. “For the Scriptures say,

‘You must worship the Lord your God
    and serve only him.’[e]”

11 Then the devil went away, and angels came and took care of Jesus.

Here are two different versions of the same scripture.  I have found it beneficial to look at a couple different versions when studying, because it helps my understanding.  The first version is the NLT, which is a kind of easy to understand English version.  The second one is IMO the best version for studying, it is called the NASB.

The first tactic the enemy uses is 'lust of the eyes', then ''lust of the flesh', and also 'the pride of life'.

1 John 2 NLT

15 Do not love this world nor the things it offers you, for when you love the world, you do not have the love of the Father in you. 16 For the world offers only a craving for physical pleasure, a craving for everything we see, and pride in our achievements and possessions. These are not from the Father, but are from this world. 17 And this world is fading away, along with everything that people crave. But anyone who does what pleases God will live forever.

Do Not Love the World

15 Do not love the world nor the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. 16 For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh and the lust of the eyes and the boastful pride of life, is not from the Father, but is from the world. 17 The world is passing away, and also its lusts; but the one who does the will of God lives forever.

We can see from these verses, that anyone who loves the world does not have the love of the Father in them.  This world is temporary, and all of the shiny things tempt us.  But is it worth it to gain the what is in the world but lose your soul?

It is important to count the cost of what it means to follow Jesus.  It takes courage.  It's not for the 'faint of heart.'

Matthew 16

24Then Jesus said to His disciples, “If anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself, and take up his cross and follow Me. 25“For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it; but whoever loses his life for My sake will find it. 26“For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world and forfeits his soul? Or what will a man give in exchange for his soul? 27“For the Son of Man is going to come in the glory of His Father with His angels, and WILL THEN REPAY EVERY MAN ACCORDING TO HIS DEEDS.

      28“Truly I say to you, there are some of those who are standing here who will not taste death until they see the Son of Man coming in His kingdom.”

Jesus feels strongly about this.  In Luke chapter 9 NASB, He says this:

      57As they were going along the road, someone said to Him, “I will follow You wherever You go.” 58And Jesus said to him, “The foxes have holes and the birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has nowhere to lay His head.” 59And He said to another, “Follow Me.” But he said, “Lord, permit me first to go and bury my father.” 60But He said to him, “Allow the dead to bury their own dead; but as for you, go and proclaim everywhere the kingdom of God.” 61Another also said, “I will follow You, Lord; but first permit me to say good-bye to those at home.” 62But Jesus said to him, “No one, after putting his hand to the plow and looking back, is fit for the kingdom of God.”

the NLT says this:

The Cost of Following Jesus

57As they were walking along, someone said to Jesus, “I will follow you wherever you go.”

58But Jesus replied, “Foxes have dens to live in, and birds have nests, but the Son of Man has no place even to lay his head.”

59He said to another person, “Come, follow me.”

The man agreed, but he said, “Lord, first let me return home and bury my father.”

60But Jesus told him, “Let the spiritually dead bury their own dead!l Your duty is to go and preach about the Kingdom of God.”

61Another said, “Yes, Lord, I will follow you, but first let me say good-bye to my family.”

62But Jesus told him, “Anyone who puts a hand to the plow and then looks back is not fit for the Kingdom of God.”

So what does this all mean?

Jesus wants all of you.  NOT part of you some of the time.  NOT because you want blessings from Him..  Once we decide to follow Jesus, there is no turning back.  This is not to be taken lightly.  that's why in Matt 7 we are told this:

13“Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. 14But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it.

Only a few find it!  Sobering!

It would be irresponsible of me to neglect to tell you about God's wrath towards sin, but it would be equally neglectful for me to not tell you about God's incredible forgiveness, mercy and compassion towards us.

You see, we can't follow Jesus is our own strength.  None of us can.  If we try, we will fail and fall back into our old patterns.  When I was young, the same thing happened to me and I walked away from God for many many years. 

Your way back to Jesus is through repentance. 

Acts 3:19 NASB

19 Therefore repent and return, so that your sins may be wiped away, in order that times of refreshing may come from the presence of the Lord;

same verse NLT:

19 Now repent of your sins and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped away

What does it mean to repent?

Repentance is a change of mind towards your own sin. When a person repents, they are saying that they agree with God about their sin, they know that it is in opposition to God, and they turn away from it to God.  They begin to live differently. So repentance is a change of mind that results in a change of actions.

Once you repent, you are forgiven. 

Romans 8

Life in the Spirit

8 So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus. 2 And because you belong to him, the power[a] of the life-giving Spirit has freed you[b] from the power of sin that leads to death. 3 The law of Moses was unable to save us because of the weakness of our sinful nature.[c] So God did what the law could not do. He sent his own Son in a body like the bodies we sinners have. And in that body God declared an end to sin’s control over us by giving his Son as a sacrifice for our sins. 4 He did this so that the just requirement of the law would be fully satisfied for us, who no longer follow our sinful nature but instead follow the Spirit.

5 Those who are dominated by the sinful nature think about sinful things, but those who are controlled by the Holy Spirit think about things that please the Spirit. 6 So letting your sinful nature control your mind leads to death. But letting the Spirit control your mind leads to life and peace. 7 For the sinful nature is always hostile to God. It never did obey God’s laws, and it never will. 8 That’s why those who are still under the control of their sinful nature can never please God.

verse 9 goes on to say this:

9 But you are not controlled by your sinful nature. You are controlled by the Spirit if you have the Spirit of God living in you. (And remember that those who do not have the Spirit of Christ living in them do not belong to him at all.)

I also have to tell you about this....

Jesus says this to us....I think He just wants to remind us to stop trying to life a Holy Spirit filled life in our own strength...because we can't.

He says:  "28 Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.”

His yoke is easy and His burden is light.  Jesus doesn't way us down with a performance list, or a 'to do' list.  He just asks us to trust Him.

God never promises us an easy life....never---not even once.  You can't find it in the bible.  But you can find this:

John 16 33 I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.” (emphasis mine)

Jesus has overcome the world.  If you seek Him with all your heart you will find Him.  As you invite Him into your life, your days, your moments...He will come in.  It will take time for you to recognize His presence.  It also takes courage.  Each of us has to learn to see past our difficulties, and into the 'unseen' where God is.   I can't explain how it works, but I know that it does.

Isaiah 1:18 NLT

“Come now, let’s settle this,” says the Lord. “Though your sins are like scarlet, I will make them as white as snow. Though they are red like crimson, I will make them as white as wool.
The NASB says it like this:
 “Come now, and let us reason together,” Says the Lord, “Though your sins are as scarlet, They will be as white as snow; Though they are red like crimson, They will be like wool.
I just love that...  I love how it says in the NASB 'Let us reason together...'
It's like God is saying this......your 'sin'...  it's a fact, and there will be a consequence, that consequence is total and complete separation from ME... BUT...I created you, and I don't want to lose you, so  I myself, have come to earth in the flesh to take that sin away.  I died on the cross to satisfy the legal requirements of those sin consequences, and I desire to be reconciled with you.  That's why Jesus died and rose again back to life.  ...let's talk about this. 
.....Now ...of course those are my words, but when I read that, that's what I hear and see.
Blessings, Carla
(ps---there's more to say here, but I don't want to overload you)
Permalink Reply by Biiyonunique on November 24, 2015 at 7:04pm
I just wanted to know how are you doing now, we have a lot in common. And we also have a lot of the same questions. I don't know you and it has been awhile since you posted this, so now I just wanted to ask you did thing begin to get better.
Permalink Reply by Mary O on June 16, 2015 at 11:02am

Hi Dazaun, God bless you!

You have such a pretty name. We all have things that happen to us, and all of us have overcome something.  I was thinking perhaps you need a strong example kind of person that you can talk to. If you need strong Christian people to talk to, there's lots Christians here on AAG you can talk to. I wish you would friend some of us and give us a chance.  :-)  Okay, nobody laugh, remember It's a Wonderful Life? No man is ever a failure that has friends. Come on in and make some friends. I know. I know. It was corny. You can all say, Mary, where did that come from? That movie makes me cry every time I watch it.

Love,

Mary

Permalink Reply by Joseph on November 26, 2015 at 3:46am
Hi Rose! God loves you, every morning you wake up is a blessing! A sunshine you see is a blessing. Dont lose hope if God didn't answer your prayer then he has a big surprise for you that more nicest and beautiful than you wish for. Just have Faith, Dont lose hope and be Patience to wait! Who knows your wish will might come true tomorrow and later. Just Believe. Okay? I'll pray for you Rose. God bless

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