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Distorted

When going to the eye doctor, he told me I had astigmatism that effects my eyesight. He told me that, that was the reason for my headaches. I asked him exactly what that meant, and he replied with "you see everything distorted, but because that's all you've ever known, it is normal for you to see this way."  He went on to tell me I have cat like eyes (funny thing is, they are very green w/yellow) and if I didn't wear glasses it could get worse.

Right then and there,  I finally had the perfect title for my book.  "Distorted"

See for me, I have noticed that when I see something that should be a normal occurrence, it can look much different to me. For example, there can be something I see, hear, smell ect, and to me it has a negative past experience attached to it, but to someone else it is just normal. Even a kind gesture has sometimes led me to believe that the person has a motive behind it.  I do not ask people for help because I have had to do things myself.  People say its being proud, but I say "no, its being prepared." I also have never liked surprises because I feel if I know whats going on I have control. Some people say I am controlling, but I say "no, I'm being prepared."

I say all this to say...everyday I am reminded of my past. Everyday something triggers a negative thought or feeling I am  not able to shake.

So I am saying,  I am so very tired of it! I have decided that I am letting go of more of the "I's" and replacing them for more "you's" 

So....What do you all do to stop this? If you can't, is it something that will prevent me from going to heaven?

There...I asked for help from you:)

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Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Tammy on June 2, 2012 at 1:44pm
Permalink Reply by Tammy on June 2, 2012 at 1:46pm

I thought this went so well with your reply Amanda.
The more i seek you,
the more i find you.

The more i find you,
the more I love you

I wanna sit at your feet
drink from the cup in your hand.
Lay back against you and breath,
hear your heart beat

This love is so deep,
it's more than I can stand.
I melt in your peace, it's overwhelming

The more i seek you,
the more i find you.

The more i find you,
the more I love you

I wanna sit at your feet
drink from the cup in your hand.
Lay back against you and breath,
hear your heart beat

This love is so deep,
it's more than I can stand.
I melt in your peace, it's overwhelming

I wanna sit at your feet
drink from the cup in your hand.
Lay back against you and breath,
hear your heart beat

This love is so deep,
it's more than I can stand.
I melt in your peace, it's overwhelming

I wanna sit at your feet
drink from the cup in your hand.
Lay back against you and breath,
hear your heart beat

This love is so deep,
it's more than I can stand.
I melt in your peace...

Permalink Reply by Amanda on June 2, 2012 at 4:58pm

Beautiful song.

Permalink Reply by Felicha Dixon on May 31, 2012 at 6:16pm
Winter:
There are so many people including Christians that have been through so many things that we let it not only be our past but our present and future as well. We know we cannot change the past but we can change our present. Many times we ask questions like this of ourselves and others but we don't always want the answer that we need. We usually gravitate to those who are in an agreement with us. The wonderful thing about being a child of God is that you have a parent who loves you unconditionally and cannot Lie to you or Fail you. We don't always like the answer we receive from the Lord but it is always the answer we need. Talk to him, ask him to help you discern why this is going on and to show you what you need to do to change it. If you are really patient and listen with a spiritual heart and mind you will have your answers. When someone does something nice just try to trade places with that person and ask yourself are the things I do because I want to or because I want something in return. When suspicions arise it is usually a negative feeling, remind yourself that is not God because he never would operate in the negative. When you know your enemy and his stronghold, then you are prepared and armed. I hope this helps.
Permalink Reply by winter mckinney on May 31, 2012 at 7:39pm

Thank you Felicia, I appreciate your advise.

Winter

Permalink Reply by Tammy on June 2, 2012 at 4:23pm

I thought it was pretty great Felicha

Permalink Reply by feet breath on June 2, 2012 at 2:36pm

"See for me, I have noticed that when I see something that should be a normal occurrence, it can look much different to me. For example, there can be something I see, hear, smell ect, and to me it has a negative past experience attached to it, but to someone else it is just normal. Even a kind gesture has sometimes led me to believe that the person has a motive behind it.  I do not ask people for help because I have had to do things myself.  People say its being proud, but I say "no, its being prepared." I also have never liked surprises because I feel if I know whats going on I have control. Some people say I am controlling, but I say "no, I'm being prepared.""

Sister, I can understand where you're coming from. There's certain smells that trigger good reaction. Quite awhile back I was in a Walmart. Something smelled like my late grandma's cooking(my parents and I went on Sundays when I was little to her aprtment for dinner). Another smell awhile back smelled like one of the earlier years when I was in school. Yet, there's certain songs that trigger 8th grade/certain part/s to be replayed over again in my life. I may not think of something for years but remember it after a certain smell.

 

I'm like you. I'm very cautoius in who I trust. If something causes me to withdraw it may take a little while(which is very rare) or it may take years to regain trust. I told something to my school counsler in 9th grade(I graduated last year). He said something that caused me to loose trust. I don't want to hold anything against him. The fear is just there in trusting on certain issue/s. While, I have a problem in one area when I used to talk to him in another I may not. I don't talk to him anymore since I don't go to school anymore anyway. 

 

I don't really like telling people things face to face so that's why I go online. I still have trust issues but in 8th grade I was worse than this on trust.

 

That won't prevent you from going to heaven sister. Just make sure your salvation is grounded in the Rock of your salvation and only Him.

I apolojize if I wasn't much help. It seems like we're going through similar issues when it comes to trust. It's good that you're being open though asking for help. From experince doing that on here, it's a form of healing.

Permalink Reply by Felicha Dixon on June 2, 2012 at 6:03pm
feetbreeze,
As we continue to grow in our faith in Christ, trust and patience become an integral part of your faith. Do you trust God? If you do then you will trust him to help and guide you. When we come to the place where we actually do this, strongholds are conquered and we have all the things God wants for us in our lives. When You trust in God then it does not become such an issue in other areas. When God is for you, who can be against you. Please hold on to that thought the next time you get that feeling. I hope this encourages you.
Permalink Reply by feet breath on June 2, 2012 at 6:14pm

Felicha, what does a person do with dry faith? There's not much spiritually good for nourishment and my faith has become dry. There's not much encouragement in my life to strengthen my relationship with God.

Permalink Reply by JB on June 2, 2012 at 10:52pm

Your faith will come; when you allow the Word to prevail over your thinking processes.

I actually believe that we can study the Word, and memorize scripture, but until we act on that Word, it becomes nothing more than a novel to us. When we act on the Word, it becomes alive in our hearts, and the communication of our faith will become effectual by the acknowledging of every good thing that is in us in Christ Jesus. Phil.1:6

It is amazing to me that when we get born again we really feel alive and joy has filled our hearts, but unless we feed our Spirit with the Word of God, the light will grow dim and our un-renewed minds will hold our spirit captive once again. Our minds must be renewed to allow the Word to prevail over the way we think and our imaginations. Give the Word first place in your heart, and in all your ways, acknowledge him and He will direct thy paths. Pr.3:6

Joe

Permalink Reply by Tammy on June 3, 2012 at 7:37am

For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart. Hebrews 4:12

Just to back Joe's statement. It's alive & must be nourished.

Permalink Reply by JB on June 3, 2012 at 10:20am

Thanks Tammy, But I think I like the KJV rendition “piercing to the dividing asunder the soul and the spirit, joints and marrow and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart”

Both are good, and they let us know that the Word is powerful, and nothing is hidden from it.

 

 

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