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How do you find the strength and courage to kneel when you know your life is a mess..literally upside down?..

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I like what you've said. I do have a thought. Does nothing include becoming indoctrinated by false teachings, such as that of the JW's, later on in life, although one was raised in the central teachings of the Christian Faith, such as Jesus is the Son of God, the second person of the Trinity of God which includes the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, and one professed these beliefs as a teenager, repenting and accepting Christ and submitting to baptism as a public profession of one's faith? If one were to die in that spiritual condition is there any hope that one still belongs to Jesus and is one of His? Could it be just a backsliding? Or, does it mean one never belonged to Jesus?

I'm not talking about me, personally. I've never believed JW doctrines, but I know that I don't have all my doctrine and beliefs straight, either, and I'm sure I believe things about God, too, that aren't true. At times, I do feel separated from God as well as from God's love.

I do agree with you that suffering isn't always designed by God. We probably bring 99% of it on ourselves. I guess it's the maturity of the Christian as to whether they grow through it or give up & rebel. If one has their eyes focused on God 100%, then the goal will always be the glory of God. I loved what he said here:

I have never heard anyone say, “The really deep lessons of life have come through times of ease and comfort.”

But I have heard strong saints say, “Every significant advance I have ever made in grasping the depths of God’s love and growing deep with him has come through suffering.”

The pearl of greatest price is the glory of Christ.

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