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Coming back to Jesus Christ

So i was raised in a Christian house hold was saved at the age of 12. I lived right for god for a few years then began to backslide. I've lived in sin for 15 years. In that time i met my wife and we got married and have a beautiful daughter and one on the way. Recently God through the holy spirit had delt with my heart and i knew i had to come back to Jesus and live right for God and thats what i did. Now im a believer but my wife isn't, its an uphill battle for me everyday. I pray like 20 times a day and read my bible constantly. She gets mad at me and says i wish you'd put as much love and effort into your marriage as you do that book. I try to witness and not be condemning or judgemental but everything i say just comes out wrong. To be honest i dont know why im saying all this i guess im trying to find help and comfort from fellow Christians and seek out God's word. Thanks for listening

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Permalink Reply by Carla on July 13, 2015 at 5:16pm

Amen Mary. 

I understand the analogy.  If my husband has to press on the breaks quickly for any reason in the car, he puts himself in front of me as best he can also.  :-)  ...it's a great analogy.

Permalink Reply by Matthew on July 13, 2015 at 2:04pm
I really appreciate all the kind words and examples and scripture to read. These are the kinds of things that im looking for to help me out. @ Carla and @ Stephen you guys say that your unequally yoked as well? Do you ever feel like its your fault sometimes? Or ever question whether its gonna work out? I pray all the time and do my best to love her as christ would love the church but i feel myself slipping sometimes and i feel like we are going to hit rock bottom b4 it gets any better. I've been having nightmares of her telling me she hates me and she's leaving me and I'll never get to see my kids. People im freaking out here. What else can i do. I feel like im always whining about it and i try to give up and give it to god and cast my cares upon the lord but the devil just keeps up and i know he will never quit and Christianity isn't for the faint of heart but what else can i do? Thanks for your time and patience with me
Permalink Reply by Carla on July 13, 2015 at 2:29pm

Matthew,

From the beginning God brought me through an understanding of the Spiritual Battle which surrounds us. Sure I felt it wasn't going to work out... But it is, and it has. The enemy doesn't want it to work out, but with God, it can. It took something big for mine to work out...it hasn't been an easy road. I was diagnosed with a congenital heart condition which required open heart surgery to fix it. The surgeon said it was a miracle that I hadn't died. My husband's heart softened after that, and he realized he didn't want to lose me. Yes---we hit a form of rock bottom with challenges coming at us from every angle. Every day we choose to overcome and choose each other. We love being together and spending time together. We have found things in common again, and we take joy in those things.  We take care of each other.  Keep taking care of her and your children.  Keep showing her how much you want things to work out.

 Sure...we have a very real enemy who seeks to devour...but he is the father of lies.  Remember this:

1 John 4 (speaking about false prophets)

4 But you belong to God, my dear children. You have already won a victory over those people, because the Spirit who lives in you is greater than the spirit who lives in the world.

The 'take away' is, that the Spirit of God, living in you is greater than the spirit of the antichrist, who is living in the world.  Intimidation and fear are some of satan's greatest weapons....now that you know that, you can learn to recognize it and overcome In Christ.

You're not whining... as brothers and sisters In Christ, we are here to encourage you and remind you of God's faithfulness.

Blessings, Carla

Permalink Reply by stephen on July 13, 2015 at 4:56pm

I have been separated from my wife for 5.5 months. We are unequally yoked. She showed a lot of interest in the Lord when we first separated. Things have turned for the worst now. She does not seem interested in it anymore and the Devil is attacking our relationship with everything he has. The good thing is that I have the Lord on my side. I keep myself focused on God and cry out to Him multiple times a day. Don't let your fears get to you brother. God is good and wants you to have faith in Him. Just trust in Him and let Him handle your wife. Trust me. Its easier said than done. But God will do a much better job than we ever will brother. I will pray for you

Permalink Reply by Matthew on July 13, 2015 at 2:38pm
God bless you Carla ... wish i had a friend or two more like you in my life and my wife's
Permalink Reply by Carla on July 13, 2015 at 5:21pm

I hope you feel encouraged and strengthened.

I also just had another thought.

You asked this question above "Do you ever feel like its your fault sometimes?"

Stay alert, if there is anything that you need to apologize for and repent from, don't delay.  Do it.  There may be some things that are 'our faults', if that is the case, than do the work that needs to be done to repair the hurt.  It takes two people for things to fall apart, and it takes two people to heal it.  Keep reassuring her that you believe in the two of you as a team.  Tell her that the Lord is teaching you how to love....

What is love?

1 Cor 13

4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

8 Love never fails

Permalink Reply by thewatchman on July 13, 2015 at 5:45pm

I really don't have anything to add, but only to restate....keep loving your wife.

I came across this picture and was reminded how the Lord makes beautiful things grow in the most unlikely of places.  

nature-reclaiming-abandoned-places-16

Permalink Reply by Carla on July 13, 2015 at 5:55pm

This is a great article, I just came across it:

  • Marriage is complicated — filled with challenges at every corner. When marriage rates fall and divorce rates climb, one can't help but wonder whether there are any lasting marriages left...

    Thankfully, many marriages exist where husbands and wives take their vows seriously.

  • 1. You talk

    The number one sign a marriage is going to last forever? Continuous communication, both verbal and nonverbal.

    Successful spouses truly talk to each other, and not just small talk. These couples still frequently have lasting conversations — just like they did when they first fell in love. They establish a pattern of communication at the beginning of their marriages and never deviate from that path.

  • 2. You're there for each other — no matter the obstacle

    Marriages are battered with challenges, small and large. In successful marriages, such batterings still rear their ugly heads, but spouses are there for each other no matter what happens.

    Are you sensitive to your spouse's challenges? Sometimes, those challenges are not as evident as we'd like them to be, but your attentiveness will pay off in the end.

  • 3. You forgive each other over and over

    Forgiveness is an underrated aspect of many marriages. Grudges are just so easy to hold tight! But we all have our quirks, our bouts of weirdness, our failings ... we all do things that could offend at every turn. Ask for forgiveness every day.

    Recognizing your own flaws will help keep your marriage strong, but honestly forgiving your spouse on a daily basis will solidify your relationship. The old adage "Never go to bed angry" is still pretty good advice.

  • 4. You show love and charity — DAILY

    Daily love and charity should come naturally if you are in love. Little acts of love and charity are easy — a kiss before work, a little note on the bathroom mirror, a phone call or text throughout the day, a small act of service (and maybe another kiss or two).

    Are you truly loving and kind to your spouse?

  • 5. Your spouse is the first one to hear your news — good or bad

    Do you remember when you and your sweetheart first fell in love? Who was the first person you wanted to talk to each day, the first person you wanted to share your day's events with?

    In rock solid marriages, this is still the case. These couples literally cannot wait to tell their spouses any news. Spouses should never learn important things from Facebook or Twitter.

  • 6. You still date once a week

    Dating is the glue that welds together communication, love and understanding. If your marriage is a keeper, you anticipate that special weekly time with your spouse.

    We live in a busy, bustling world full of all sorts of things that derail our priorities. Setting aside one evening — or as many as you can — to be alone with your spouse is paramount to a continued successful marriage.

  • 7. You never fantasize about being with someone else

    At the marriage altar, you made the promise to cherish your spouse and be loyal to him or her, for better or for worse. In our society, it is easy to get caught up in the many infidelities and immodesties found in movies, TV shows, social media... It seems commonplace in our culture to "fantasize" because everybody else is doing it.

    But solid marriages do not allow these thoughts to creep in — ever. Focus, and pay strict attention to your spouse.

  • 8. You share your hopes and dreams

    We all have hopes and dreams. Some come to life. Some don't. But lasting couples share their hopes and dreams with each other and then work together toward bringing those goals to fruition. Nothing, perhaps, is more gratifying than achieving a common goal with your spouse.

    Have you shared your dreams with your spouse? Have you worked hard together? Have you felt that connectedness grow between you, filling your marriage with even more love and hope?

  • 9. You commit

    An unwavering commitment to your spouse cements your feelings for him or her, stirring within you a fierce loyalty. Though our culture tends to gloss over and minimize commitment and devotion, none of us can simply say or do whatever we want without consequences.

    Never stop working to strengthen your commitment to your spouse, for this is the mark of truly successful marriages.

  • 10. You give up the "blame game"

    In many marriages (particularly those that end in divorce) a tendency to blame one's partner for anything bad that happens becomes commonplace. Fingers point. Hateful words like "it's your fault" escape from angry lips.

    In successful marriages, couples are accountable for their own actions, and they seek to help one another overcome challenges. The best couples use their individual strengths to help each other overcome weaknesses.

Permalink Reply by Matthew on July 14, 2015 at 4:55am
Once again thank you Carla... I've been reading these articles just as much as my bible. I know in the long run it will help. Sometimes i get so upset because i feel like because i came back to the Lord that everything should miraculously change like a right now situation. Sometimes i gotta remind myself that it will take baby steps and the lord will work with me everyday... bless all of you who help (and ones that dont) thank you again
Permalink Reply by Carla on July 14, 2015 at 7:46am

Matthew, I think that is a big misconception for people who come to Christ.  They become surprised at the persecution, and the dislike directed towards them.  Becoming a Christian is the best way to stop being invited to parties. ;-) 

Remember though...

Matthew 10   21“Brother will betray brother to death, and a father his child; and children will rise up against parents and cause them to be put to death. 22“You will be hated by all because of My name, but it is the one who has endured to the end who will be saved.

and

John 15  18“If the world hates you, you know that it has hated Me before it hated you. 19“If you were of the world, the world would love its own; but because you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world, because of this the world hates you. 20“Remember the word that I said to you, ‘A slave is not greater than his master.’ If they persecuted Me, they will also persecute you; if they kept My word, they will keep yours also."

Everything has changed for the better, but not that you can see.  God is always working.  I can't promise anything in regards to your marriage, but I can promise that God hates divorce, and wants reconciliation.  Your best battle fighting as a warrior will be done in prayer. 

Permalink Reply by Mary O on July 14, 2015 at 11:28am

Hi Matthew, God bless you!

If I have made you feel distressed, I am sorry. I was thinking 20 minutes a day to pray really isn't that unreasonable. Maybe you could get up a littler earlier in the morning and read the Bible for a while. I was thinking maybe you could make yourself some small cards like business cards with Bible verses and read them during the day. You could work on memorizing 2-3 verses a week.

If you're like me, the biggest part of my studying and reading is in the evening after supper and after I've taken care of business.

Love,

Mary

Permalink Reply by Matthew on July 15, 2015 at 10:12am
Ok time to be a little more real with myself...i tried to have a talk with her yesterday and i can tell that were both just unhappy. Constant mood swings between us and theres seems to be no real connection anymore. She told me that sometimes she thinks it'd be easier for us to split so i could go find a Christian woman to make me happy. I dont want to give up on my marriage but its like a little piece of me does . But I'm reminded all the time for husbands to love your wife. But i feel its too hard because that things i used to love about her are the same thing i can longer stand ...anyone want to drop me a line about how im feeling?

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