CHURCH HUMOR

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Permalink Reply by Carla on June 5, 2010 at 5:33am

Gee I hope My pastor doesn't do that to me.. I'm always taking notes. :)

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Permalink Reply by jamie allen lindsey on June 13, 2010 at 2:51am

HA! ONCE AT CHURCH..LIKE YOU A MOM HAD TO TAKE HER SON OUT FOR A SPANKING...WHEN THEY CAME BACK IN HE ANNOUNCED TO ALL"SHE HAS BEEN BEATING ME AGAIN!"

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Permalink Reply by forgiven on August 2, 2010 at 7:29pm

A young man in the church went to his dad and asked if dad would buy him a car. The dad said, "If you bring your grades up in school, help out at home and cut your hair, I would be happy to get you your first car". A month went by and the young man asked again. The dad said that he was impresssed with his sons grades and helping around the house, but he still had not gotten a haircut. The boy said, "Jesus, Moses and Sampson al had long hair". His dad agreeed with him but reminded them that Jesus, Moses and Sampson walked everywhere they went.

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Permalink Reply by Amy on August 2, 2010 at 8:04pm

Nice, Ha hahahaahahahahaa

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Permalink Reply by Amy on August 2, 2010 at 8:12pm

Austin, a little boy was in church one Sunday with his mother Wendy, when he started feeling sick.

"Mommy," he said, "can we leave now?"

"No" the mother replied.

"Well, I think I have to throw up!"

"Then go out the front door and around to the back of the church and throw up behind a bush."

After about sixty seconds, Austin returned to his seat.

"Did you throw up?" Mom asked.

"Yes."

"How could you have gone all the way to the back of the church and returned so quickly?"

"I didn't have to go out of the church, Mommy. They have a box next to the front door that says, 'For the Sick'

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Permalink Reply by jamie allen lindsey on August 9, 2010 at 10:14pm

BACK IN THE 70S A FAMILY CAME TO OUR CHURCH THAT HAD THREE DAUGHTERS ,A MOM THAT SANG LIKE ANGELS...THE DAD LOVE TO SING WITH THEM...HOWEVER HE COULD NOT CARRY A TUNE AND HAD NO SENSE OF TIMING WHAT SO EVER...WELL AS THEY WOULD SING THEY STOOD CLOSE TOGETHER.THE POOR SISTER THAT WAS UNLUCKY ENOUGH TO BE BY DAD HAD TO CONSTANTLY WATCH HIM BECAUSE HE WOULD GO UP AND DOWN WITH A CLENCHED FIST! THE POOR GIRL HAD NO IDEA WHEN HE WOULD GO DOWN OR COME UP,BECAUSE AS I SAID HE HAD NO TIMING...HIS DAUGHTER WOULD HAVE TOO LEAN AWAY FROM HIM AS HIS FIST CAME UP OR IT WOULD HIT HER SQUARE IN THE JAW! IT WAS WONDERFUL THOUGH CAUSE OF THE PURE JOY IN THE DAD'S FACE...BUT FUNNY CAUSE OF THE GIRL'S EYES BEING WIDE OPEN WITH FEAR!!

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Permalink Reply by jamie allen lindsey on August 20, 2010 at 1:21am

IN A OLD COUNTRY CHURCH I WENT TO AS A EARLY CHRISTIAN,WE HAD A LAID BACK CHURCH CHOIR THAT HAD NO ROBES..ANYONE COULD BE IN IT NO MATTER IF THEY COULD SING IN TUNE OR WHAT EVER...WELL THE WAY IT WORKED WAS TO GET US IN THE CHOIR TO HELP OUT BY CHOOSING SONGS..THE CHOIR LEADER WOULD LOOK AROUND BEFORE THE SONG WE WERE SINGING ENDED AND POINT TO SEE IF ONE OF US HAD A SONG OUT OF THE BOOK TO SING..WE CHOOSE THE NUMBER OF THE PAGE THE SONG WAS ON...ONCE A VISITING PREACHER WAS UP SITTING IN A CHAIR NOT FAR FROM THE PODIUM CLOSE TO OUR CHOIR LEADER...WELL THE VISITING PREACHER GOT UP AND THOUGH NOT PREACHING YET HE STARTED TALKING LOUD BOUT THE LORD...WELL OUR CHOIR LEADER TOOK ADVANTAGE OF THE TIME TO TURN AROUND IN HIS SEAT TO LOOK FOR SOME ONE TO PICK OUT THE NEXT SONG FOR US TO SING...HE WAS PAYING NO ATTENTION TO WHAT THE LOULD PREACHER WAS SAYING...WELL AS THE CHOIR LEADER WAS TURNED THE PREACHER WALKED OVER AND HIT THE CHOIR LEADER IN THE BACK PRETTY HARD AND ASKED"AIN'T THAT RIGHT BROTHER"?!! WELL THE LEADER TURNED TO HIM IN FRIEGHT,WITH EYES WIDE OPENED AND NODDED YES VERY FAST..LOOKED LIKE DON KNOTTS AS BARNEY IN MAYBERRY...THE CHOIR LEADER HAD NO IDEA OF WHAT THE MAN HAD SAID!!IT WAS SO FUNNY...JUST HAD TO BE THERE!! JAMIE..GOD BLESS ALL AND HELP US!!

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