All About GOD - Growing Relationships with Jesus and Others
children and discipline
Hi,
My 2.5 yr old son is displaying disobedient, defiant and disrespectful tendencies to my husband and I.
When we ask him to do something he often says, "No!" We have resorted to time outs, raising our voice, and bribing.
It dawned on me yesterday just how shameful this is to have a son who doesn't respect his parents and their authority. Our son has been allowed to run the show too long and I'm determined to consistently correct his rebellion with patience and firmness.
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Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Rita Cullimore on
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Carla,
Terrific testimony! I have a problem grandson. I will keep your advice in mind as I try to grow with him. It is never too late to learn.
Blessing to you and Joshua....and the rest of your family....
Rita
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Permalink Reply by Carla on
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Thank you Rita. God is so good.
I keep telling Joshua that God has something really great in store for him. ...that's why it was such a struggle. God will use this in his life to bring others to Christ...to remind Joshua of His goodness and faithfulness, to let Joshua know of his worth in Christ, to encourage others... who knows what else.
Joshua still has temper tantrums---of coarse God isn't finished with him yet... But instead of his tantrums lasting all day and happening every day... They happen about once every few weeks, and last about 2 minutes. The tantrums are different (much calmer) and now manageable. Joshua is quick to repent and seek ways to restore what's broken. he understands that lashing out is harmful, and he is able to exhibit self-control.
It's very encouraging. Consistency is key.
Blessings, Carla
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Permalink Reply by Mary O on
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Hi God bless!
My grandson's 2.5. He's into everything. James isn't communicating very well, or they aren't understanding him. I could understand what he was saying, but his parents couldn't. He gets frustrated and throws tantrums. He doesn't know how to ask for milk or a cookie. He's only 2 years old.
The latest is their landlord is mad. James got ahold of a crayon. He claims James will be their downfall. Seriously? He's only 2. I doubt that. A babysitter got mad and closed James off in a bedroom by himself. (I couldn't believe it either.) He was obviously unsupervised and got into something. When his daddy picked him up, the room was like a sauna no air conditioning. They had to fire a babysitter. I don't know what he learned from any of this, but I know it wasn't the love of God.
Their state has programs for kids. James gets speech therapy. Shar says it's helping even though he's still into everything. At least they can understand him better. Shar's using sign language a little bit. Just a few things like eat, milk. You might learn a few words in sign language and teach him. It might fascinate him and keep his interest. He could be very smart, very bored and difficult to understand like James.
Kids will do things that will disappoint you. They aren't born with good social skills. My daughter poked a hole in my waterbed mattress when she was 2. Then she lied and told us Minnie Mouse did it. Shar always got along a little better with Gary too.
Love,
Mary
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James dumped water in Shari's chair recently. She said she got wet. I laughed. It's just water. :-)
We used to use a chair and fondly called it the train. Time to catch a train. She washed my new shoes in the toilet. Then she used my makeup and said she wanted to look just like me. Lipstick and eye shadow all over her face. :-) She was into business. Good memories. She came home with a school clarinet and tried to give a concert in the living room. It was bad. The neighbor's dog howled when she practiced her clarinet. Poor critter was in pain. Gary and I were laughing in the living room listening to it.
Love,
Mary
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I'm not a parent but it is nice to hear what people who are parents have to say. I'm only 15 and if you asked my mom she would probably say that I would be one of those rebellious type. I'm not as bad as I use to be. Many people have mentioned discipline as a way. That would definately be what my mom did and I guess I could say it helped. But I am not sure how far is too far. I loved my dad because he played games with me and he would ask me how my day was. but my mom I'm not really sure how I felt about her. My parents had gotten divorced before I was born or sometime around there, it might been because of that, that I didn't really like her very much. my step mom which I now cal my mom wasn't like my dad she was a lot stricter. I had to wash my hands before I ate, don't chew with your mouth open There were many others of course and much stricter than that. wjen I did something I wasn't suppose to do she would spank, when that didn't work I layed in my bed and did nothing, when that didn't work I stood in the corner for however long she wanted me there and I couldn't fidgit or anything, when that didn't work I didn't eat dinner. I started to despise her because of this which I know I shouldn't have since it was my own fault and i feel bad that i did, but i started to become afraid of her. everything I said made her angry. She never played games with me(probably because every game i have ever played with her she has won and I didn't like losing) she never asked me how my day was, has never once told me she loved me, I know most of this is probably my fault but i would have to tell you my whole life story for any one to ever understand where I am coming from. So to get my point across just please don't go to far with the punishing. If you ever have a child who was like me and nothing ever seemed to work maybe try to not raise your voice as much. For me at least all a raised voice ever did for me was taught me to live a life in fear of my mom. and I don't mean respect type of fear. remind them that you love them, in words and actions. May be try to explain why they for example shouldn't cross the street. I think probably the important thing to do is to try your best to understand them. My mom says that she isn't suppose to understand me. whether that
s true or not I know from experience that I would do just about anything if only my parents would at least try to understand me. Now I know I am just a teenager talking to adults. I have no parenting experience what so ever. Please just a least consider what I said. i just though it might help if you could hear it from a kids point of view
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Permalink Reply by Jenny on
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Thanks for this Maria, I consider the "child's perspective" very valuable and worth considering, so thanks for sharing some of your experience and giving some advice. I will definitely take it to heart and pray the Lord helps me to remember to nourish love and friendliness with my son.
It sounds like you've have some difficult times. I pray you can learn more of God's unconditional love towards us and use your past experiences to be more loving in your future relationships. I guess we're all learning and leaning on the Lord.
God bless
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Permalink Reply by Moses Holguin on
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Time outs? Time outs? thats why your having problems because you have chosen the world s way instead of GOD's way.
Parents that dont spank their children hate them. That is what the bible says. Why is that?
Because parents wont spank their kids because it hurts them (The parent) too much. So "Time outs" is the selfish way parents avoid the pain of disciplining their kids. So its all about what the perent feels and not whats best for the child. Children are children they do not have to capacity to know whats good for them. They also do not know what respect means until they feel the sting of the belt.
But with love and not in anger or never done with timidness either....firm and fair.
You said,"I'm determined to consistently correct his rebellion with patience and firmness." He will wear you down.
Take this advice or leave it from a married man of 25 years with the same woman. Father of a 23 year old , 18 year old girl, and a 13 year old boy. I spanked them all, Yes! even my girl (With my Tie) but dont say nothing to the boys about that. LOL. No seriously I think I spanked her once and not hard but that because she was such a good child.
These kids are solid, not perfect but solid in their thinking and their emotional intelligence and in their ability to respect and honor their parents and the authorities of the land.
But where can you find a disrespectful child? They ask, look for parents who practice "time outs."
But where can you find those children that behave when they are 5 years old, that love their parents when they are 25 years old and are grateful to their parents when they are 45 years old? look for parents that spanked their kids with love.
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Remember he's only 3 so make sure its with love and appropriate to his age. Like Kate when I spanked her with my tie. She was like 3 or 4 years old but she screamed like it was torture and her tears were bigger than grapes running down her little cheeks. You should see her now. Beautiful and graduating this year from High School. She challenges me on immigration and individual rights and their respective responsibilities. She wrote a paper in the 10th grade on personal responsibility and the individual right.
You can tell im so proud of her......
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