All About GOD - Growing Relationships with Jesus and Others
Can I Vent
I love me some Christians. Let me say that before I start. I was sharing with someone how I had puked everything up that I had ever eaten since I was 2 & my head was killing me. Their response: God is in control. DUH. I know that but that doesn't make me feel any better. Then they said: Don't worry everything will be OK. I say I'm not worried I'M SICK. Again: You will be well OK. ME: I know I'll be OK but that does not help right now. Then: I am praying that you can get better. I said yea, whatever. I know I sound hateful but that drives me up the wall. It's like telling someone in mourning they're in a better place. Really? How does that help my heart right now. I say I'm sick please don't say God is over all, yadda yadda. I already know that. Say you're sorry or something. Actually, I'm not looking for u to say anything. I'm really just sharing. I'm not looking for a miracle because life is life. We gonna have sicknesses & trials. It is what it is. Do you feel the same as me or are you on the other end of the spectrum? Am I just ill right now? lol
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Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by ribbon on
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Why thank you Tammy and Carla.... what a nice thing to say and a surprise. = D.
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Permalink Reply by Amanda on
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Yes, it is a completely personal experience and pressuring and pushing people into doing what we think is best for them only adds to the pain. We can listen and make suggestions and let them tell us how it is for them and we can care and not avoid them but stay available. People often want to push others too fast because their pain makes them feel uncomfortable. Some wounds are very deep. It takes time and a lot of support. And yes, most people mean well and just haven't yet learned what helps and what only hurts others. We can teach one another as well as learn from each other.
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Permalink Reply by Gary Schultz on
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In my position I deal with a lot of people who are struggling with one thing or another. Looking over the responses I am going to say you all are right.
It's important to remember, Love your neighbor as you love yourself. I think if we truly respond to people with love and concern and not just drop a, it will be ok, they will see the light in us and know that we care. Sometimes saying nothing speaks volumes. It depends on the moment. But if we respond without genuine love.....well....it wont matter what we say.
I will toss this out there though. I have found that after listening to someone who is going through trials and tribulations I sometimes find myself carrying a burden. That burden is wondering how they are doing and what else I can do. Prayer helps, but I find I need to ask if they are doing ok the next day or so and have a hard time until they are doing better.
Because of that burden I feel, I don't share troubles with anyone other than my lovely bride. I will pray, leave it in Gods hands and know He will cover me.
Just some thoughts,
Gary
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Lol ... I know I'm right and thanks for the confirmation. Just kidding.
Not sharing your troubles with anyone but your wife and God is perfectly fine and is what works for you. That's the whole point.
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Permalink Reply by Carla on
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I never know what to say when someone is grieving or go through a difficult time. I just try to 'be there'. I try to be a presence and serve in some way. If they need a meal made, or maybe they need help cleaning up the house... maybe they need me to listen. I try to keep my words at a minimum and just stay close to them in some way to offer support... That's all I know to do.
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Permalink Reply by David Velasquez on
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13 Brothers and sisters, we do not want you to be uninformed about those who sleep in death, so that you do not grieve like the rest of mankind, who have no hope.
Amanda,
Again - I have not said anywhere that grieving is a sin and I do not believe that some people sin even when their responses to difficult things is not the most desirable by biblical examples and admonitions, but I don’t' think that is sin.
I am not saying that God is not Glorified because someone cries 10 years after their mother passed away, on her birthday, or the example that you placed above. I have used the words devastated. There are an abundance of Christians who remain in spiritual infancy throughout their lives in Christ and it is a good thing to remind all us us that with Christ the impossible is possible in all aspects of our lives. There are too many of us always complaining, very spoiled, always hurt and in pain about this and that, those are the ones I am trying to remind that in Christ there is freedom from all that. If you, not you, the church in general, have been in Christ for 20 years and you are still talking about people, crying day and night because a dog or cat died, well there is something not right there, but in this day and age, to point that out is to be an inconsiderate, insensitive and a prideful person.
I do think there is a godly way to mourn and a fleshly way.
The statement below is a popular statement because if full of truth and yet I do think that when we examine scripture we see a right way to grieve and a wrong one. We grieve as a people with hope and not a people with no hope, 1 Corinthians 15: 51-58. As children of God we have a tremendous advantage than those who have no hope.
“There is no “right” way to grieve. Every culture has its own unique expression. Sometimes it takes six months or so before one can get on with life. Some times more, some times less. It depends on the individual.”
Thousands of books have been written to deal with the difficult topic of managing grief and the phases of it.
Yet, we are not of this world though we are in it. That is not a cliché or a fairy tale; it is a reality that helps us in all aspects of our lives. A reality that too many of us kick against and find comfort in comforting each other’s weaknesses, which is fine for a time, but we will remain in that place for as long as we live or for a long time unless we realize that we can rejoice through it all.
I will stop here and ask God to correct me and teach me, if I have erred here. This is a difficult topic. This topic has been in my heart for a long time now, so I am glad that it has been discussed here.
“I will never desert you, nor will I ever forsake you” (Hebrews 13:5). “Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of His godly ones” (Psalm 116:15).
1 Thessalonians 4:13-18
New International Version (NIV)
Believers Who Have Died
13 Brothers and sisters, we do not want you to be uninformed about those who sleep in death, so that you do not grieve like the rest of mankind, who have no hope.
14 For we believe that Jesus died and rose again, and so we believe that God will bring with Jesus those who have fallen asleep in him. 15 According to the Lord’s word, we tell you that we who are still alive, who are left until the coming of the Lord, will certainly not precede those who have fallen asleep. 16 For the Lord himself will come down from heaven, with a loud command, with the voice of the archangel and with the trumpet call of God, and the dead in Christ will rise first. 17 After that, we who are still alive and are left will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And so we will be with the Lord forever. 18 Therefore encourage one another with these words.
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David, in a previous response, I'd already mentioned this Scripture. I said, The Apostle Paul said, "Brothers and sisters, we do not want you to be uninformed about those who sleep in death, so that you do not grieve like the rest of mankind, who have no hope" (1 Thessalonians 4:13) but the instruction does not say do not grieve at all. We are just not to grieve as those who have no hope.
God wants us to have hope. We can lose hope. Paul wanted to help people not lose hope. But people still do. Maybe that is a sin. I'm thankful for Jesus.
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Amanda-
I think I have failed to communicate what I long to get across, but that is ok.
I will continue to work on how to communicate what my heart longs to, because so far everyone here has me thinking that maybe i am just a boasting knuckle head hahaha Maybe i should point a lot more to the biblical examples of how God strengthens us, more than to how God has kept me through very difficult situations.
Oh well - I love you all. Pray for me, because I do want to be able to communicate truth more effectively.
:)
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