Bullying and Suicide

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Permalink Reply by Leonard T on May 13, 2015 at 1:11pm

Peer pressure is a reality that many wish to deny or ignore today. It affects every age group (adults are not immune to its affects). The best defense is two fold IMO.

1) Developing a solid Biblical understanding who I am in God's eyes (now I realize this cannot apply to the lost, but must not be overlooked by the saved).

2) Develop a strong support group around you whom you have affinity with if at all possible. Seeking people who care about "YOU" and not what they can get out of you.

With those two points being said, there is an understanding that in society today people are more prone to experiencing the feeling of being alone in the crowd syndrome. There are many causes for this, bit one that I can point to is the newer technology (Phones, video games, etc) has replaced interpersonal skills with technology skills. Yet we were created to interact with people and many today have no clue as to how to accomplish that.

Note: this is not a comprehensive statement by me by no means, but merely at best a scratch the surface comment.

Lord Bless,
LT

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Permalink Reply by Tammy on May 13, 2015 at 2:07pm

I actually brought my daughter home because of it & homeschooled her. The thoughts of someone doing this to her & me not being there to be able to help her killed me. I wasn't going to stand for it any longer.

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Permalink Reply by Mary O on May 14, 2015 at 7:02am

My daughter had a bullying experience happen. We're not quite sure what it was. A teacher intercepted a threatening note and sent my daughter home for a day. We never knew what the note said except that it was threatening. The school called the police. The officers came and sternly lectured the youngsters in the cafeteria. My daughter was not allowed to talk answer the phone for several days, the offending youngsters were given three days suspension. My daughter's answer to give the kids was that she wasn't allowed to talk to them pending litigation. I didn't mean it of course, unless I had no other choice. They are all grown up now and all good friends. All of that mess was girls fighting over a boy, I think. I still don't know the whole story.

Sometimes when the police are involved, it's a different story.

Love,

Mary

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Permalink Reply by Mary O on May 14, 2015 at 11:22am

My mom was a good example. She had this habit of showing up unannounced at school whenever she wanted to or felt like it. We're not going to discuss my age.  :-)  Mom was a stubborn woman. I guess she figured...She's my child, and I'll check on her if I want to. My mother got it in her head to bring treats and walked in on my 2nd grade teacher yelling and shaking a child by the arm.  It was not me being shaken, but I was afraid of that teacher. Many of us were. You're not very big when you're 7. Teachers can be bullies too. Things happen when parents aren't paying attention. The whole classroom changed after that. My mother was outraged.

A mother can be a strong advocate and child public relations person. Hold your child's hand and stand with her. You can teach your child how to be strong and how to take a stand. You are her shining example.

It's a good idea to pay attention. Get involved. Stop in unannounced and see what's going on. I don't mean open house. Twice a year seemed to work for me. You can stop in and watch how classes are going. Yes, you can. I know because I did it when my daughter was in school. I knocked on the door and walked right in bearing store bought cookies and cold juice with cups. I'll remember those grateful little faces. I liked to go down to the office and say hello to the office staff and the principal and talk for a few minutes. Yes, I'm here visiting today and brought treats.

I don't like to wait for open house. That can be a little staged. You only see what they let you see. I like that you got involved.

Love,

Mary

 

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Permalink Reply by Carla on May 15, 2015 at 6:51am

Hi Michelle,

It sure is heartbreaking.  Why can't everyone just get along...right!  My oldest son Logan who is 15 now, was bullied a lot as a younger person... With guidance and love he has learned to come through it stronger.  I'm grateful he just kept telling us... That's what kids have to do...talk about it.  Expose it to deal with it.  Now my son is doing well.  He's learned to used wit and humour to respond to unkind people.  He's in grade 10 now....But even in grade 9 he would get upset in class and sometimes even cry.  You can probably well imagine the way bullies would radar in to cause hurt and trouble.  In grade 9 two boys who were bullying Logan got kicked out of school....they are back in now, but the bullying has stopped.  Logan has also grown to 6 ft tall, and he's comfortable in his height....he has also joined cadets and is being trained in leadership.  His confidence is steadily improving... Praise God for that.  (totally unrelated fact:  Logan's ss school teachers are on strike now, so there is no school for the past two weeks).

My youngest son also recently went thru something on his baseball team.  Joshua is a very talented baseball player...he is also a very passionate young boy in EVERYTHING he does.  Because of his passion, he sometimes comes off as opinionated and aggressive in negative ways.  There is one boy on his team who was whispering hurtful mean spirited words to him to try and get Joshua to act aggressively, or even to just discourage him.  Joshua has developed a bit of a reputation for himself because he is so loud.  As his Mom, I know that heart behind his loud aggressiveness....It's passion that is still learning to be properly focused.  But 'bullies' will only see an opportunity to make someone feel 'less than' or 'not good enough'.  The most important thing for us to teach our kids as LT has already said, is who am I in God's eyes. 

This week, as I have been praying about how to respond to this young boy who is (was) causing Joshua problems, God has been working (of course).

On opening day, Joshua's team played their first game.  They won 23-6, and Joshua was awarded MVP.  He was a superstar on the diamond....and all of his teammates were very happy with him.  This other boy wouldn't have been given the opportunity to demean him with words, because that day, Joshua was the star.  Joshua came to the realization that the things this boy was saying weren't true....so he didn't have to listen to him.

One other thing I did with Joshua was, I sat him down and advised him to make a list of all the people who love him, want the best for him, encourage him and never say anything to discourage him.  God was at the top of his list....then family members, baseball coaches, a few teachers, and a couple friends.  We cut out the list onto a piece of paper that he could put in his backpack for safe keeping.  Whenever anyone says anything to him that is hurtful....he knows he can refer to his list.  If their name is not on the list, then their opinion doesn't matter.  If someone who is on the list says something to him that he doesn't like, he is to look at it with a teachable spirit.  Is it corrective?  Is it discipline?  He must learn to look deeply to see what he might need to correct in his behaviour that's prompting someone who loves him to say something that he might not want to hear.

I believe this will teach him a few things...

1) he will begin to know his worth in God's eyes, and the eyes of the people who love him the most.

2) he will learn to discern...Is it hurtful, or is it corrective.  If it's corrective--listen!

3) he will learn to be teachable.

4) some people are just hurtful...they don't get to say how things go for you, because they don't know you, and they don't care to.  Forgive them anyway, serve them when you can and leave the rest to God.  Just because they say something about you, it doesn't mean it's true.

5) the bullies biggest problem is himself.  Here's a relevant cliché: 

"Strong people don't put others down, they lift them up."

I hope some of this helps...

Blessings, Carla

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