Bitterness towards ones self?

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Permalink Reply by Amanda on June 4, 2012 at 8:30pm

It's something I've struggled with too. I could tell you that you're not despicable. (That word just made me remember Daffy Duck.) But it won't matter to you what I think. I can't forgive myself. It's a lie. Those words are a lie. God forgives you and you can rejoice in His mercy and forgiveness. Psalm 136:1. And some day you will be able to forgive yourself. Jesus will help you.

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Permalink Reply by feet breath on June 4, 2012 at 9:31pm

Sister, thank you. You just put a huge smile on my face when you mentioned Daffy Duck. I remember that episode.

:-) Hmm, let's see... :D--l vs. Uo_oU. That's the best Duck vs. Rabbit smilies I could make. Hey, I just noticed. I've got a Looney Tunes sweater on with some of the characters. And, guess who's on it? Old Daffey! I guess I've been so wrapped up in anxiety I forgot what I was even wearing.

 

Here's some :hugs:. I pray Jesus helps you to get those hugs as if we were in the same room. :-)

 

I'm not as bitter as before. It's more of a frustrated, feel like crying sort of thing. Rocking back and forth, arms folded. That's actually soothing to rock back and forth. I still feel like crying. I guess my bitter unforgiveness has took a turn and gone to wanting to cry. It's softened me. There's still that pain though.

 

I don't want Jesus to be mad at me once I see Him...if anyone in my family or anyone I know suffers because of me...what I did...The sad thing is if I didn't make that choice I know later on things could have been much worse...

 

It's like the Holy Spirit has taken me by the hand and showing me what I'm suppose to do. First of all, how do I witness? I got told to show them love. Well, how do I show them love? I've been pointed to 1 Corinthians 13.

 

:sighs: I still want to cry though. There's so much frustration. In the days we're living in, that only makes things more complicated. I'm afraid for them...

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Permalink Reply by Coffee Lover on June 5, 2012 at 1:29am

Whilst explaining why I was having problems, my martial arts instructor cut me short (not literally) and said "Can you change what happened?" When I said no he said "then why are you worrying about it?"  Whilst this response seemed at the time overly simplistic he was completely right when I realised that it's not the saying as what I did (or what was done to me) didn't matter. We can't change the past, all we can do is acknowledge where it went wrong and learn from the mistakes. More often or not, all it takes is time. I found "Totally Forgiving Ourselves" by  R.T Kendall very useful

We are all shaped by our experiences, good and bad, but we are saints in the eyes of God.

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Permalink Reply by feet breath on June 5, 2012 at 9:20am

Coffee, what about the future though?

 

I know of the danger,I'm informed on it.... If I do something I'm putting "Jannit" in very deep spiritual danger. I know the consiqences...Therefore if something happens to her or anyone else involved the blame's on me...because I knew the consiquences beforehand.

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Permalink Reply by feet breath on June 5, 2012 at 11:34am

o_o So, Char, ether way there's a stumbling block...if I think about it, there's a stumbling block yet if I make haste/they end up asking anyway...

 

I have a shread of hope they'll all of a sudden listen. But, in reality I know...I dread what would happen if they found out. I've seen their reactions. The more I think about it the more I fear. Yet, even if I don't think about it and they find out there will still be trouble...

 

I know the Holy Spirit wants me to show them love. I'm concerned about the outcome of this...if they find out what I know that'll cause havoc...

 

I know the Holy Spirit has me by the hand despite I'm still scared and confused. If they knew everything...I just want to see Jesus, I want this nightmare to go away.

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Permalink Reply by Leonard T on June 5, 2012 at 12:32pm

A great exercise is to go through the Scripture identifying as many verses as possible that tell us who we are in Jesus after we are saved. Some quick examples ... we are children of God, we have been forgiven, we have been sealed ... This exercise is a great help whenever we question who we are and whether God could love us. The Word gives born again children a clear answer to those questions.

BTW, this exercise is not something you should post as a question, but rather seek out for yourself in Scripture. A jewel sought after tends to have greater impact than one simply given to us. Take the journey and you will be pleased with the results.

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Permalink Reply by Leonard T on June 5, 2012 at 2:22pm

You pull them out and recognize these statments are the statements God has made about all who have received Jesus ... and that includes me/you. I believe it is important to literally pull them out everytime one feels shaken and be reassured that this is God's Word regarding me. This is important, because even if I do not trust myself, I do trust God's Word and I trust that you do as well. Thus, we place our hope in what He has said.

 

Hope that helps.

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Permalink Reply by David Velasquez on June 5, 2012 at 9:28pm

Feetbreeze -

 

Study the verses that speak of God's grace towards us. God saves us, makes us new creatures, we are his workmanship, He keeps us, for He predestined us unto himself.

 

"Where sin abounded, grace did much more abound" (Romans 5:20).

 

HIS GRACE IS SUFFICIENT, NOT OUR EFFORTS, NOT OUR GOODNESS, NOT OUR SKILLS, NOT OUR ETC... HIS GRACE IS SUFFIENT. GET A BIBLICAL UNDERSTANDING OF GRACE AND GET FREE FROM SELF CONDENNATION, FOR THERE IS NOW NO COMDEMNATION TO US, WHO ARE IN CHRIST JESUS.

 

4  even as he chose us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before him. In love 5  he predestined us[b] for adoption as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will, 6  to the praise of his glorious grace, with which he has blessed us in the Beloved. 7  In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of his grace, 8 which he lavished upon us, in all wisdom and insight 9  making known[c] to us the mystery of his will, according to his purpose, which he set forth in Christ 10 as a plan for the fullness of time, to unite all things in him, things in heaven and things on earth.  11 In him we have obtained an inheritance, having been predestined according to the purpose of him who works all things according to the counsel of his will,

 

 YOU ARE HIS, AND YOU BELONG TO HIM. NOTHING YOU CAN DO, CAN CHANGE THAT. YOU BELONG TO HIM, YOU ARE HIS. NOTHING YOU DO OR DON'T DO WILL CHANGE HIS LOVE FOR YOU. YOUR ACTIONS WILL BRINGS GOD'S BLESSINGS IN THE FORM OF CORRECTION OR IN WHATEVER OTHER FORM HE HAS DETERMINED FOR YOU TO BE BLESSED, BUT HIS LOVE NEVER CHANGES FOR YOU.  

 

"IT IS GOD THAT JUSTIFIETH" Romans 8:33 God has justified you.. Christ's righteousness has been set upon you. You are forgiven and set free.

 

"By grace are ye saved, through faith" (Ephesians 2:8 ).

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Permalink Reply by feet breath on June 5, 2012 at 10:03pm

Thanks David.

I'm not bitter now, or atleast not like I was. I don't think I'm really bitter at all now.

 

My problem is I had a little pity party. And, guess who came uninvited? Anxiety! Pity invited anxiety over his brother fear came as well. Satan used that.

 

 

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Permalink Reply by Tammy on June 19, 2012 at 3:33pm

You've warned them of the consequences. Not a lot you can do about that. As far as forgiving yourself, the word tells us to love our neighbors as thyself. If you don't love yourself, it's almost impossible to love them. I think I've said it before but the longer the walk you have the more distant the past becomes. Soon it will be dust in the wind. 

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Permalink Reply by feet breath on June 19, 2012 at 5:52pm

But, sister but what if you're forced to take some steps back and relive the past?

2 steps forward and 5 steps back...

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