Abusive spouse

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Permalink Reply by Leonard T on February 11, 2016 at 7:53pm

Once a divorce has been decreed, and marrying another has been consummated; how does one repent from it and still maintain a sense of peace?

By agreeing with God what was done was wrong, ask for forgiveness and move on. The agreeing is more than a mere thought, but a deep conviction regarding the truth. If one simply goes "Well I got a divorce and remarried, BTW God, please forgive me so I can get on with my life" we would have to question the sincerity of that asking.

Two wrongs doesn’t make a right.

When we are wrong acknowledging that wrong and owning up to it brings us to Jesus with a right heart regarding the subject. This is not a salvation issue, but a clean vessel issue, for the vessel does get dirty living in this world int he fallen flesh.

So with the philosophy derived from a sin consciousness, rather than a righteousness consciousness; one will live under self-condemnation for the rest of their lives. 

I have to disagree. It is not an either or, but a both. We are aware of the things that displeases God and the things that please God. We have the liberty to choose which way we want to live. God calls us to holiness and our flesh calls us to sin ... what will our spirit say and do is the question.

I believe there must be a balance somewhere so as to live a life peacefully after committing a sinful act.

I believe true peace can only be found in Jesus. At the same time a life that does not align with Him will be unsettled for as long as it is out of alignment. One cannot simply do as they will and then move on as if nothing has happened. If I have committed an act of sin I must own up to it and then move past it. The problem for some is that they believe they can sin and then simply dismiss it as if there are no consequences for sin in this life.

Permalink Reply by Amanda on February 12, 2016 at 6:55am

So with the philosophy derived from a sin consciousness, rather than a righteousness consciousness; one will live under self-condemnation for the rest of their lives.

The word "philosophy" stands out. We aren't living by any philosophy, are we? A simple definition of philosophy is
: the study of ideas about knowledge, truth, the nature and meaning of life, etc.
: a particular set of ideas about knowledge, truth, the nature and meaning of life, etc.
: a set of ideas about how to do something or how to live
http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/philosophy

Is God's Word a philosophy in 1 John 1:9 where the word confess is used? Confess means
: to admit that you did something wrong or illegal
: to talk about or admit something that makes you embarrassed, ashamed, etc.
: to tell (your sins) to God or to a priest

When we confess our sins, it means we are agreeing with God about the truth that we have sinned. Sin is defined simply as
a : an offense against religious or moral law
b : an action that is or is felt to be highly reprehensible
c : an often serious shortcoming : fault
2
a : transgression of the law of God
b : a vitiated state of human nature in which the self is estranged from God


If we confess, He is faithful and just to forgive and to cleanse.

1 John 1:9English Standard Version (ESV)

9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.



This will stop divine discipline for the sin. However, God doesn't always intervene and stop or prevent natural consequences to the sin.




Don't let anyone capture you with empty philosophies and high-sounding nonsense that come from human thinking and from the spiritual powers of this world, rather than from Christ. Colossians 2:8, NLT

Permalink Reply by Seek on February 13, 2016 at 8:30pm

...even when I over eat food that I really like, knowing I will suffer the consequences of it later that night.

LOLOL I have actually had that very same thought. And this is exactly what I've been saying JB. For whoever keeps the whole law and yet stumbles at just one point is guilty of breaking all of it. James 2:10

The whole point isn't to excuse someone to sin or condemn the church for not doing more. But it's to show the same grace and mercy God showed us.

And you made a very good point of something I had said I finally realized. Through prayer and not through any study of other books or other people. Because books and people mostly view this opposite of what I felt in my spirit. But just being quiet before God and listening, I finally got it. I finally understand what Jesus meant about setting the captives free.

I have spent hour upon hour for years in condemnation. I eat too much (LOL) I felt guilty. I felt I was not able to do what Scripture said to do. I got upset with someone doing wrong towards me and I condemned myself for not guarding my tongue at that moment. I spent a little on something frivolous instead of giving it to someone who had less and I just felt I was never going to be able to be what God wants me to be.

I'm not talking murder, stealing, etc. But day to day character...we call "flaws". But if we're following James, he's talking about showing favoritism, not murder or stealing or adultery. But just favoritism. I'd be very surprised if anyone here can claim they never show favoritism. All of us do to some extent. And what did James say about it?

11 For he who said, “You shall not commit adultery,” also said, “You shall not murder.” 12 Speak and act as those who are going to be judged by the law that gives freedom, 13 because judgment without mercy will be shown to anyone who has not been merciful. Mercy triumphs over judgment.

So the thoughts about divine judgment on everything we fail at don't line up with this. We're to make "every effort" to live godly and strive to live like Jesus. But knowing only Christ was sin free, feeling guilty about our own inability to live perfectly does nothing but keep us from following Philippians 4:8 whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

I was spending an awful lot of time thinking about every little thing I didn't do just right. And I am just recently seeing how that in itself assured failure. Rather than moving toward what lies ahead I was stuck in what I did or didn't do yesterday or 10 minutes ago. Until we can have peace inside how can we ever show that peace to anyone else?

And if we live in fear of being judged over every little area where we don't measure up?

1 John 4:18 There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.

Permalink Reply by Amanda on February 13, 2016 at 9:41pm

Can We Avoid Divine Discipline?

Charles Stanley

At the cross, the penalty for transgression was paid in full, and sin’s power over us was broken. Nevertheless, we still struggle with ungodliness in our lives. So how can we avoid behaviors that lead to divine discipline?

First, we can pursue God wholeheartedly. As we diligently study the Scriptures and apply them to our lives, we will learn what pleases and displeases Him. Second, we can join an evangelical church and find godly people who will hold us accountable for our actions. Sometimes the right advice is all that is needed to prevent a misstep.

To avoid the necessity of the Lord’s discipline, we can also practice spiritual self-examination. This can be done individually (1 Cor. 11:28) and corporately. Examining our thought life, speech, and actions in light of Scripture uncovers areas of ungodliness. First John 1:9 instructs us to confess our iniquities to the Lord. Genuine confession means to agree with God that His way is right and what we are doing is wrong. Repentance is to follow confession—this involves changing our actions and attitude so they line up with God's Word.

Because we aren’t perfect, not all discipline can be avoided. When we sin, we need to humble ourselves quickly, admit our wrong behavior, and adjust our ways.

Believers needn’t fear God's discipline. Our Father never responds to us with wrath or condemnation. His correction may hurt, but it brings great spiritual benefit. We’ll find it easier to avoid pitfalls that lead to divine discipline if we pursue a lifestyle of righteousness and godliness (1 Timothy 6:11).

Taken from “How to Avoid Divine Discipline” by In Touch Ministries (used by permission).

Page Source (url):
http://www.jesus.org/following-jesus/discipleship/can-we-avoid-divi...

Permalink Reply by Amanda on February 13, 2016 at 9:50pm

What Makes for an "Authentic" Christian?

Greg Laurie

Let's take a look at five earmarks of authentic Christianity, taken from 1 John.

First, an authentic Christian confesses Jesus Christ as Lord (1 John 4:15). Christianity must begin with a verbal acknowledgment of Jesus Christ as the Lord of your life. The Bible says that even the demons believe and tremble (James 2:19). True Christians should be able to say that Jesus Christ is their Lord.

Second, if you are a true Christian, you will be unhappy or miserable when you're sinning (1 John 3:9). This doesn't mean you will never sin if you are a Christian (1 John 1:8). But there is a difference between recognizing that we will fail in some way, shape, or form in the future and going on a willful, continual track of sin. If you really are a child of God, you will have a sense of discomfort when you sin, because you know in your heart of hearts that what you are doing is wrong.

Third, an authentic Christian enjoys fellowship with other believers (1 John 5:1). A true Christian will want to be around other Christians. Those who isolate themselves from other believers do so at their own peril, because the Bible tells us that it is important to get together, encourage one another, and correct one another (Hebrews 10:24-25). After all, why should God go to your house if you won't go to His? A lot of us want all of the fringe benefits of Christianity without applying ourselves.

Fourth, an authentic Christian obeys the commands of Jesus Christ. If you are a true believer, then you will obey the commands of Jesus Christ (1 John 5:3). I will not deny that the Bible is filled with so-called rules, but their purpose is not to make our lives miserable. Rather, they protect us from potential harm. The person who blatantly and continually breaks the commandments of God simply does not know Him.

Finally, an authentic Christian loves and obeys the Word of God (1 John 2:5). You cannot effectively live the Christian life without a love for, and obedience to, God's Word. All true disciples of Jesus Christ will be students of Scripture and will walk according to its teaching. This is vital to authentic Christian living, because the Bible is indeed the very textbook of life (2 Timothy 3:16). Yet so many believers will not read the Bible. They don't realize that success or failure in the Christian life depends on how much of the Bible they get into their hearts and minds on a regular basis. We have to do it.

Taken from "Authentic Christianity" (used by permission).

Page Source (url):
http://www.jesus.org/following-jesus/discipleship/what-makes-for-an...

Permalink Reply by Amanda on February 13, 2016 at 9:58pm

Are Christians Punished into Submission?

Dr. J. Vernon McGee

For whom the Lord loves He chastens, And scourges every son whom He receives. (Hebrews 12:6)

The word chasten is a bit misunderstood because it is interpreted as meaning punishment. Actually it is not that at all. It belongs in an altogether different category. It literally means child training. Our word today for it would be discipline. In other words, God does not have undisciplined children. He disciplines His own, and there are certain lessons He gets through to us by suffering.

Therefore we have this matter of discipline. The Judge punishes; the Father chastens. Punishment is for breaking the rules of the Father. God deals that way with His children. But when he chastises, or child trains, He is doing that in love. It does not have the same background as does punishment. However, this does not mean it is not severe and that it does not hurt.

It's rather like the old chestnut about the father who took his son out to the woodshed for a little discipline. But before the father whipped the boy, he sat down and wept. As he looked up at the child, he said, "Son, this hurts me more than it does you." And the son said, "Yes, Dad, but not in the same place."

Our heavenly Father, I'm confident, is not severe because He takes delight in disciplining us, but He does it for our benefit. Therefore, the writers of Scripture did not show us, as God's children, how to escape suffering but how to endure suffering. That is the most important thing. There is a worthy purpose and a productive goal to be gained in the chastening or the discipline of the Lord.

Taken from "God's Discipline" (used by permission).

Page Source (url):
http://www.jesus.org/following-jesus/discipleship/are-christians-pu...

Permalink Reply by Amanda on February 1, 2016 at 7:16am

Grounds for Divorce

Matthew 5:31-32 “It was also said, ‘Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce.’ But I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except on the ground of sexual immorality, makes her commit adultery, and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.”

Jesus was crystal clear in who was permitted to be divorced and that the only exception was that of “sexual immorality.” Jesus’ teaching doesn’t allow for any other exceptions, however if a spouse or the spouse and his or her children are experiencing physical abuse then they not only need to separate themselves from that situation for the sake of their own safety, but they should also report that person to the police and that person who abuses a spouse or children deserves to be punished to the full extent of the law. They must be reported too because those who are in such positions of authority yield the sword in God’s sovereignty and they act with God’s authority (Rom 13). The only reason that Moses allowed certificates for divorce (this doesn’t mean that it was favorable in his or God’s eyes) was because of what Jesus said, “Because of your hardness of heart [since] from the beginning it was not so” (Matt 19:8). Jesus clearly said that “Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce.’ But I say to you [which has more authority] that everyone who divorces his wife, except on the ground of sexual immorality, makes her commit adultery, and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery” (Matt 5:31-32). Jesus says that Moses allowed for divorce (Matt 19:8) “but I say to you” that whoever “divorces his wife, except on the ground of sexual immorality, makes her commit adultery, and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery” (Matt 5:31-32). Naturally this applies to the woman and it is also for whoever divorces her husband, except on the ground of sexual immorality…and whoever marries a divorced man commits adultery too.

Adultery of the Heart?

Matthew 5:27-31 “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart. If your right eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body be thrown into hell. And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body go into hell.”

Here Jesus sees lusting after a woman or a man is like adultery that is being committed already in the heart. This is because that is where adultery begins…in lusting and in the heart. Jesus said more specifically that if they looked at another “with lustful intent” or in other words, their intent is to lust or commit adultery in their heart or in their mind (essentially the same thing). The heart is often spoken of as being the seat of the intellect by the Jews so “in the heart” is the same thing as being “in the mind.” Either way, lusting in the heart or mind for someone who is not your spouse might as well be committing adultery, even though it is not the actual physical act. This is why pornography is so destructive to marriages. The person who looks at pornography is sinning in their heart by lusting after what they see and it is with intent (intentionally) that they are doing it. If they actually had the woman or man in the image actually be there, you can almost be certain that the act of adultery would be fulfilled in reality. Article by Pastor Jack Wellman

http://m.blogs.christianpost.com/better-than-i-deserve/what-did-jes...

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Permalink Reply by Amanda on February 1, 2016 at 7:18am

What Did Jesus Teach about Marriage and Divorce?

Jack Graham

In the Gospel of Mark, the Pharisees came to Jesus wanting to know if it was lawful for a man to divorce his wife.

Jesus engaged these men in a discussion based on Scripture. In effect he said, "Before you can understand anything about divorce, you need to understand what a marriage is." And this is also what you and I need to understand.

Now notice what Mark 10:6 says. It says: "But from the beginning of creation, ‘God made them male and female.'" He's saying God created man and woman, and when he did so, he established the very beginning of society... the very beginning of life... and the exclusive union of marriage.

Marriage is a profoundly spiritual, social, and biological union. It's just as much a spiritual bond as it is a social and sexual bond. And that bond reaches to the very depths of our beings. It's sacred.

That's what the Scripture is talking about when it says "two shall become one." And for that very reason, to get a divorce is like dismembering your own body.

Don't make the mistake of thinking that marriage is just a human tradition. Marriage is God's creation. Enter into it carefully and thoughtfully.

Taken from "What is Marriage, Really?" by PowerPoint Ministries (used by permission).

Page Source (url):
http://www.jesus.org/life-of-jesus/teaching-and-messages/what-did-j...

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Permalink Reply by Amanda on February 4, 2016 at 7:10am

Is grace a license to sin?

No. It is true that grace brings freedom and that includes the freedom to make poor choices, but if you use your freedom to enslave yourself to sin, then you have missed the point of grace:

It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery. (Gal 5:1)

The purpose of grace is to liberate the prisoner and give life to the dead. Grace is also good news for the poor (Lk 4:18-19). So if you use grace to enslave or impoverish yourself by making dumb decisions and indulging the flesh, then you are setting aside grace. You are not using it for its intended purpose. Grace liberates, but if you use your freedom to discard your freedom, then what was the point? You are no better off than when you started.

Moreover the law entered, that the offence might abound. But where sin abounded, grace did much more abound. (Rom 5:20)

Don’t ever fall for the lie that says “I can go on sinning so that grace may abound.” True, your sinning won’t affect God’s love for you, but it will surely affect you. It will enslave you and ultimately kill you. This is not God’s will for your life.

What shall we say then? Shall we continue in sin, that grace may abound? God forbid. (Rom 6:1)

Grace is no more a license to sin than electricity is a license to electrocute yourself. True, you can use electricity to electrocute yourself but God forbid that you would! That’s not what it’s for. God created electricity so you could enjoy light and warmth and ESPN’s SportsCenter. Grace, like electricity is meant to bring life not death and there is no life in sin.

We need to see sin for what it really is. It is not some benign activity like making coffee or hitting free-throws down the stretch. As God warned Cain, Sin is a crouching beast that desires to master you. Running after Sin is about as smart as poking a pit-bull with a stick.

They may take our lives, but they’ll never take our freedom!

The apostle of grace wrote much about how sin enslaves and he wasn’t just talking about sinners: “You are slaves to the one whom you obey” (Rom 6:16). Now please understand I am drawing a big fat line between a saint who occasionally sins and a saint who runs after sin. There is a big difference. The former finds himself doing what he doesn’t want to do; the latter is doing exactly what he wants to do. If you are troubled when you sin, relax – your discomfort is actually a sign of the new nature and new desires within you. Your heart is to please the Lord. But if you are untroubled when you sin – perhaps because you think grace is a license to sin – then wake up and smell the coffee. Something is very wrong.

For the grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men. It teaches us to say “No” to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age. (Tit 2:11-12)

I am aware that some use this scripture to promote behavior modification thus condemning those who are struggling to overcome sin. (If you are trying to overcome sin, check out the excellent links at the end of this post.) The point I want to make here is this: The grace of God that brings salvation teaches us to say “No” to ungodliness. So any grace that isn’t teaching you to say “No” is counterfeit grace. Is grace a license to sin? Only if it is fake grace.

So why do I still sin?

I suspect there are two reasons. Either you don’t know who you really are and you are still running on the operating system you had when you followed the way of the world. Or you are an unbeliever. The grace that teaches us to say no only comes through faith. If you don’t believe you can say no then, guess what, you won’t.This is why it is imperative to declare what the Bible says is true about you.

If you are a Christian you are a new creation. The new has come and the old has gone. When you came to Christ you did not sign up for a program of life-long reform and self-improvement. That way lies disaster and disappointment. Christ is your life. Learn to allow Him to express His flawless, sinless life through your earthen vessel.

When you get up in the morning, look at yourself in the mirror and declare “I am the righteousness of God in Christ Jesus. I am His dearly loved child.” When you’re about to click on a link that you should not click or when reaching for some substance that is killing you, say it again: “I am the righteousness of God in Christ Jesus. I am His dearly loved child.” This is not the power of positive thinking. This is a frail human being tapping into the inexhaustible riches of His transforming grace through faith.

Have faith in God – His grace is powerful! It is the only thing on this earth that can give us freedom from sin and sinning. Live under the fountain of His grace and sin shall not be your master (Rom 6:14). http://escapetoreality.org/2012/09/24/is-grace-a-license-to-sin/

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Permalink Reply by Amanda on February 9, 2016 at 6:50am

So I think I'm gonna leave it here and if anyone still feels I'm wrong to believe we shouldn't condemn one for a struggle they don't see a way around instead of helping wherever we can and applying grace and mercy without claiming it's the same as justifying or condoning sin, then it's at a point where nothing I could possibly say would make any difference in that assessment so I just won't say anything.

You're missing the point. No one is condemning anyone for sinning. If someone is unsaved, the person is already under condemnation and will face the wrath of God unless he or she believes and repents unto salvation. How can people repent of sin, when they believe they had no choice but to sin and will continue to sin as necessary when faced with tough times and believe God understands this attitude and understands their circumstances? This applies to those who believe they are saved, too. For the child of God who chooses to sin, he or she will face divine discipline as well as natural consequences in their life. For those who are mistaken about their salvation and aren't really saved to begin with, they are under condemnation the same as an unbeliever. I've already covered in another comment how the church should respond to a member who is being abused in a relationship. We don't condemn the church members who don't respond right, either. They should be rebuked. Because I'm sure that's sinful, too, to stand back and let sin occur in the church. 1 Cor 5. A little yeast works through the whole batch of dough!

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Permalink Reply by JB on February 12, 2016 at 1:39pm

 

Amanda,

The word "philosophy" stands out. We aren't living by any philosophy, are we?

We all have a, or our own philosophy, it’s like looking through a hole, our point of reference: the way we see “the world, or things”. We evaluate things from our point of reference, when we study a subject we are looking for truth, or a meaning.

We will see Philosophy, Love, and Wisdom, differently, when looking at it from a secular point of view, than we would from a religious POV. And if I might say so, it will even look differently from the New Creation perspective, especially when we understand what a New Creation means.

 

Philosophy is made up of 2 Greek words, “Philosophia”, meaning Love, or some say “brotherly love”, and “Sophia” meaning “Wisdom”. Vines definition of Wisdom Gk. Sophia, is the insight into the true nature of things. And is used most of the time; throughout the New Testament. Another word for Wisdom is “phronesis”

 

Vine's Expository Dictionary of Old Testament and New Testament Words.                                                                                                 Note: "While Sophia is the insight into the true nature of things, phronēsis is the ability to discern modes of action with a view to their results; while Sophia is theoretical, phronēsis is practical" (Lightfoot). Synesis, "understanding, intelligence," is the critical faculty; this and phronēsis are particular applications of Sophia.

Greek Philosophia "love of knowledge, pursuit of wisdom; systematic investigation," from philo- "loving" (see philo- ) + Sophia "knowledge, wisdom," from sophis "wise, learned;" of unknown origin.

So when one has a “sin conscience” will study and learn, and see from that perspective or “point of view”. While one with a “righteous conscience” will study or see and have a different perspective. Creating his/her philosophy. The way you study, learn, or look for truth. “Knowledge, Wisdom”.

Col. 2:8 KJV
 Beware lest any man “spoil” GW. (Be careful not to let anyone rob you {of this faith} through a shallow and misleading philosophy. Such a person follows human traditions and the world’s way of doing things rather than following Christ.) you through philosophy and vain deceit, after the tradition of men, after the rudiments of the world, and not after Christ.

JB

 

 

 

 

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Permalink Reply by Amanda on February 12, 2016 at 2:00pm

Sorry. Not convincing. One must study the scriptures without allowing philosophy to infiltrate the interpretation. When it does that is when compromise and corruption occur in understanding biblical truth.

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