Divorce in the Body of Christ

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Permalink Reply by christopher lingk on March 16, 2008 at 6:38am

Hey hope grace,
Whew........this is a doozy !! I think as christians, the first thing we need to remember is 'forgiveness'. We as humans are so caught up in our feelings, like hatred, jealousy, envy, shame, etc. that we forget that God looks down upon this behavior.
Divorce is a reality of life I suppose. I would think that God would prefer that as husband and wife, they would go to Him and try and let Him repair the problems. But, that doesnt always happen. So, as a result, people part their ways and are left with feelings of anger, resentment, embarassment, etc., and these emotions lead to other problems. Obviously, issues are created when these two previously married people come into close contact with eachother. Families feel perhaps they must take sides............friends feel they must choose sides........and the list goes on.
Solution #1: Forgiveness. Until the two divorced people can come together and honestly forgive eachother as God would have it..........then it isnt going to work. God didnt say that we should forgive "IF" we wanted to. It was a command.
It is my belief that the institution of marriage is one of the greatest blessings from God. It is too easy to see nowdays how satan enjoys destroying families and the institution of marriage. Just look at the trouble and sin that arises out of a broken family !! I would say that the couple in question should sit down with the pastor firstly and discuss the issues. And then pray for guidance and healing. Those are deep wounds that only God is going to fix to be sure. Short of taking it to God though........no way is it gonna work. Satan will be causing havoc and devisiveness amongst the congregation.

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Permalink Reply by Hope Grace on March 17, 2008 at 6:52am

This couple has counseled with the Pastor and they have even counseled with a professional Christian Councilor. It seems however they are either unable or unwilling to make the changes in themselves necessary for the healing of this marriage. So the divorce is going to happen. I think my greatest struggle has been how I as a leader respond to this couple who was also in leadership. I love them both and I will act in grace. The husband is looking for another church and we have asked the wife to step down for a while. She has things she needs to work through. When we announced it to the church we asked that the parents explain to there children that this is not something we bring up in casual conversation in Sunday school as some parents have not told there kids yet and we don't want to make it uncomfortable for the children of the divorcing couple. But I have others in the church who, 'want to be there for the children'. Personally I think some of those "others" will cause more harm than good if they try. How do I respond to those whose “help” is really harmful?

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Permalink Reply by christopher lingk on March 17, 2008 at 9:39pm

Hope Grace,
Hello again. I can see that the situation you describe is quite serious in nature. Im really unqualified to give advice on this subject really, aside from what the bible may say concerning cetain issues. Ive never been through a divorce, or had to deal with these particular situations either. So, hopefully someone more qualified can give you a better answer. To you I'd say....Pray, Pray, Pray. For the parents, and the children. There are with a certainty certain issues in life that can only be healed by the love of God. We all know that often times when we try to solve issues on our own wisdom........only seems to make things worse. I really do hope that things work out for all of them. It's especially difficult for the children who are 'innocent', and dont really understand all the complexities of life's situations. I hope everybody on here prays for the parents in question and for the children. Keep me informed how things go Hope Grace. And God bless you.

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Permalink Reply by Lawrence T. Jones on December 27, 2008 at 7:48pm

I feel that the husband should continue to worship at the same church because if not then the devil is going to give him a feeling of shame,embarassment,and rejection. If he allows those feelings to enter his heart then that would in make his faith weaker during his troubled times. As long as he is in the sanctuary of the Lords house his spirit will not weaken. The Lord wants him to be happy during divorce, trust me I know,I'm going through it also.WE don't know his plans and as long as the wife sees him happy, you never know what joy may overcome her to make her realize that she is making a big mistake. Ipray for my wife everday even though we are seperated and headed for divorce. The truth of the matter is I LOVE her now more than I ever have not because I'm loosing her but because we are throwing away precious years and valuable time.

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Permalink Reply by Agishon on December 28, 2008 at 2:49am

Pls let you,friends of the couple,others reaching out to the children do all they can in a REDEMPTIVE manner for that is God's way,not creating more problems or allocating faults.God is healing,let us do as we see the Father doing .1 peter 3:1-3 says let the wives(saints)do with their conducts what their preachings have not done.show love and tolerance to them,it heals.

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Permalink Reply by Jerrocco on December 28, 2008 at 4:21am

I agree with Christopher, Forgiveness is the key. Its like holding a grudge because of some indifference.
But then again, Faith without works is dead. If you sat around and hope things go O.K. then chances are they may not turn out the way you wished. A constant witness of the scripture (Truth) will instill the will of GOD and only the Holy Spirit will convict them of their sins. If I caught one of my family members doing something wrong, I will most definitely tell them (Truth) how wrong they are because I love them. That goes for both Blood and Spiritual relatives. Lets not keep bad apples in the barrel, witness to their souls and attempt to bring them back into the fold. I must say, Jesus said fornication is the only cause for divorce but love covers "All Sins," and if they wish to meet GOD (LOVE) then they must learn to love unconditionally and regardless of circumstance.

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