My problems with my husband of 38 years

Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by maggie hancox on April 28, 2009 at 10:24pm

Oh dear!
the relationship for him with this woman will be exciting..it is exciting to play with fire...until you get burned!

he does not hold value for you as a husband should, and even though you know this, I wonder if you relize your value to your Father most high!
You are his daughter, his precious possession.

This possition you are in is taking your power from you, or rather you are letting your power be taken.

God does not want you to be powerless!!!!

Give this problem to God, that is all that you can do. Step away from this situation, give it to God and pray ernestly.

Draw closer to your Father most high, get to know HIM as your most important man in your life, get to know his true nature that will never change, for he is the same today as he was yesterday and he will forever be the same.

If you make God the head of your household THE FOCUS then things will as romans 8:28...says all things work together for the good of those who love him and live according to his purpose.

God hears your heart, he hears your crys and your fears and he has better plans for you then even you can dream up!!

Please listen, put the focus and energy you are putting on your husband on GOD on getting to know him and his ways and watch as you realize that God is the giver of good gifts.

I can not say if your husbands heart will change, I know that all things are possible with God, but who knows the plans of the Father. Maybe he has better plans that will bring you much more joy in mind.

Let your Father guide your steps, learn of his true nature and trust in it, all things will follow.

I know it to be true that what ever situation you face that when God is the head of your life then you can live joyfully dispite your troubles. I will pray for you.

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Permalink Reply by mawee burgos on August 2, 2009 at 8:26am

just let go of your bitterness and anger, god will make a way in his own right time...hold on ad keep on praying for your husband to his other woman.....may god bless you..im just new in this sight..i do hope i can have so many friends i can on here whenever im weary, disturbed and hopeless.....



mrs . mawee

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Permalink Reply by Gayla on August 2, 2009 at 8:27pm

Dear Lillie... As I read thru the posts, I see you growing stronger and stronger.... in God. Praise his name !!! He can carry you thru this storm, and put you on solid ground, just keep your eyes upon him. He wants to be your husband.... and when he is, he will NEVER LEAVE YOU, NOR FORSAKE YOU..... HE WILL STICK CLOSER THAN A BROTHER..... HE IS NOT A MAN, THAT HE SHOULD LIE.

He can bring good out of any bad situation, keep your heart and mind steadfast upon him, and upon his word.....

Look to him, when you are up, and when you are down.... he is the same.....and changes not. He will be there for you.

Let him have the problem.....and receive his solution.


Be blessed..... in Him.

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Permalink Reply by Roberta Perez on August 11, 2009 at 12:01pm

Hi Lillie,

I just read your blog. And i want to send out my love and prayers to you and your family. Iam so sorry to hear what you are going through. Just remember that God does hear your prayers and in time you will hear him. I remember that someone once told me that God answers our prayers but it doesn't mean it was the answer we are looking for. God is in control - not us.

God Bless and you are in our prayers

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Permalink Reply by Stephanie on September 24, 2009 at 5:13pm

I am so sorry you are in this mess too. My husband and I have been seperated for 3 months. He also had and is having an affiar. It is easy to be angry at him, but I try to tell myself everyday that I love him. I am confused as to what God wants me to do. I wish I could say something that would make you feel better. All I can say is you are not alone. I will be thinking of you and keeping you and your husband in my prayers.

Stephanie

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Permalink Reply by Majorie Mitti Malata on September 25, 2009 at 2:20am

Hi Lillie Walls

May the Lord God Bless you in every thing that you are doing , The Lord will here your cry, God listens to his children for he says that ask in the Name of the Lord and you shall be given,seek and you shall find, knock the door shall be opened unto you. anthing is impossible in GOD.

May the Lord Bless u now and forevermore

Majorie Mitti Malata

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Permalink Reply by Guantama Buddha on April 25, 2010 at 8:44am

Not everybody believes or practices the same faith that you hold dear.
I believe the best recourse for you is to turn the page, and get with people who are like minded with you.
Over time, people change in a relationship, and either you deal with that change together, or grow apart.
Being miserable in a relationship is very unhealthy.
It is far better to realize that the relationship you have is no longer tenable.
Find someone who will make you happy, and let go of the person who doesn't want to be with you.
Learn to be happy and loving, and someone who shares the same needs will find you.

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Permalink Reply by Stacey Osana Arquines on April 25, 2010 at 12:35pm

Hi i know that you wrote this message two years ago but here is my input according to what you have put out here...

I have been married for 38 years

Congratulations lets keep the passion and love alive

with the last year my husband and I have been separated for 9 months.

hmmm have yall looked deeper into the meaning of your vows with one another sometimes going back to your marriage day helps a lot to remember the beautiful moments and then it may take you to a whole new world

We started drifting apart ( or so he says)

I pray that your marriage will be healed by the power of the Holy Spirit invested in me through Jesus Christ amen.

and he started seeing a woman

Big no no, repent and ask for God's forgiveness and are you willing to forgive him and work it out?

at work who ended up becoming more than friends.

tis tis sis do you still find him trustworthy and if you truly love him are you willing to work it out?


For the last 9 months he has been seeing her.

Sis have you taken time out to talk with Jesus to ask what you should do about this?

and does not want to come back home and work on our marriage.

try to set up a one on one with him to at least talk things over so that you are not left feeling abandoned not that you are alone tho because Jesus Christ is in you :) <3 Think of a good place to meet and a good place that is not to loud or too quiet try not to say it will take long if anything say just an hour and then if things happen to flow and be joyful I hope so then stay for as long as you want.


We have been to counseling that didn't help.

lol i c aites how bout you read through this together

Proverbs 31: 10-31
"The Ideal Wife"
*read and talk to Jesus on that (the star signifies meditation k)

Proverbs 4:13-35
"The value of Wisdom"
*
Psalm 123*
'Reliance on the Lord"

Psalm 32
Remission of Sin

Corinthians 13
LOVE PASSAGE :) <3

The counselor said there was no sense in continuing the counseling because you can not rebuild a marriage with a triangle (my husband, myself and the other woman).

Never ever give up on love, Love never fails

I have talked to him about reconciling for months but he refuses to listen.

May your husband be open to listen with no heart of stone but of fragile love and kindness Amen

Actually, he listened but then he tells me that he doesn't want to come back to our marriage because he is happy where he is now.

Try what I gave and tell him that Jesus wants to be his friend will he let him come into his heart?


He says our marriage was dull and unexciting.

Sis you have got to vamp it up lol love him and show him you care keep the love alive try new things go out on adventures read a passage together everyday..take walks out and talk about God and your wonderful blessings Praise God together
Watch a movie a romantic one or somethings lol make a list of all the lovely things about one another and laugh over them and then kiss each other out of love of GOd tho lol

He says the relationship he is in is very passionate.

Sis you be his passion through God fight the good fight of love.

The woman he is seeing is also married

She will have her share I pray that they both mend their brokenness and my Jesus show them the way Amen


and has been separated from her husband for a long time.
May their marriage be healed amen

I have been praying for him constantly but nothing has worked.

Your prayer has been heard now deeply have faith in Jesus and allow him into your heart to do it all for you let Jesus take control and trust in God.

I know that God is working in my life but I don't understand why he refuses to come back to the marriage.
God is here


I told him that I would never try and work things out with him as long as he is seeing another woman so he said that he wouldn't stop seeing her so right now I don't know what to do.


Sis do you love your husband unconditionally? are you willing to get a divorce or will you do all that you can do to save this marriage. Try watching Fireproof. God is with you, help yourself first sis.


I am frustrated, angry and unhappy.

Sis may you come to realize that you are loved and that everyday is a blessed new day to love more.

I continue to pray for him and I ask God to remove my anger and bitterness.

May you see the beauty of this world

I don't know what else to do since he refuses to come back.

Try what I said and take it seriously and put your all into with the strength of the Lord you cannot do things on your own you need Jesus and you need to let him into your heart.

Actually, he did say he would come back but if he did it would only be out of obligation and because of finances.

Sis work it out be willing and pray together and ask for forgiveness together and be forgiven and renew yourselves and reread your vows and break down what all that means to the both of you.

He is struggling keeping the mortgage payments, etc.

trust in GOd and that everything will be alright

going at our house and also at the place he is staying.

live together at least

I told him I didn't want him to come back because of those reasons.
sis are you going to be so hard at heart?

I told him I wanted him to come back because he is committed to the marriage and wants to work things out.

sis you are very indecisive lol tis good i love you anyways try to be sure of what you want and be honest it wont help if you lie about the pain inside not that I am saying you are not being honest but if you hold the pain in then how can your heart be filled with real love of God?

He is not willing to even try.
I hope this is not an assumption

I would just like to talk to someone about what I am going through and to see if there is anyone out there in cyberspace who has gone through what I am going through.

I have seen many many many many marriages and I am committed to the Lord :)

BTW, my husband is 57 years old.

he is blessed to have that many years already. God loves him

At first I thought it was just a midlife crisis or just a fling but it has gone on for 9months

Okay sis are you willing to let it all go and start anew?

and it doesn't look like it's going to end.

Stay positive how do you expect your marriage to work out if you doubt in the love you have for one another?


I am trying to go on with my life as best I can but it is so hard.

Call on Jesus you can't do it on your own you will be stressed and tired and cry a lot.

I need prayer and more prayer.

Father bless this marriage and heal their broken hearts Amen.

I know that all things are possible with God.

Amen all things are possible if you believe have no doubts and have faith in Jesus Christ.


God be with you always


Lots of love to you in Christ
:) <3

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Permalink Reply by brittany roberts on June 6, 2010 at 8:49am

Hello,

My sister I feel your pain. My husband and I have been married for three years. This past January I WALKED OUT on my marriage. I felt at the time that this was all i could do as I couldnt see a clear way out. Yes, he was abusive from time to time verbally and physically. I had just had our baby girl who was 4 almost 5 months at the time. I just couldnt take the cheating, lying, or staying out all night anymore. I felt that leaving him was the best thing for me and my daughter. I found a place and packed everything. The day finally came that I had to vacate the apartment. During this time though, my husband had already vacated and come to find out he began a relationship all within 2 weeks with his other child's mother. He and this "girl" ( I say girl because she's atleast 5 years younger than me) had a son that is 4. We've been married for 3 years together a total of 7. So you do the math. I was very hurt and bitter and just alot of things when I found out that this relationship between the two of them began. In the midst of it all God was still blessing me, and deep within I felt as though this was meant to be. I mean my husband and I had been through the fire and back and I just became weary of being with him. Throughout our entire relationship this woman woman was always interfering. Calling all times of the night, showing up at family gatherings without any notice, and just being the third person in our marriage. So, to cut to the chase. Now that I have moved and have settled into my place with my daughter I realize that me leaving was a hughe mistake. I now know that had I remained there and stuck it out and maybe went to counseling my husband and I would still be going strong but Instead, because I listened to the faint whisper of the Enemy telling me to vacate my marriage I know have to live with the fact that my husband is with another woman. He has returned home several time but only to go back to her. This whole predicament has almost taken me out. I have contemplated whether or not I could even go on. The only thing that is allowing me to perserver is my beautiful and innocent daughter. I pray over him allways but I just dont know if this is what God truly has for me. Not to mention that he is extremely nasty to me sometimes now that he is with this other woman. I guess what hurts the most is that I gave him to her because I left. The same woman that wanted him to leave me and interfered in my marriage for so many years finally has him. This whole ordeal has left me so bitter and miserable. I am doing much better now than I was in the beginning. I am now channeling all my anger into losing weight and, so far it is working. I miss him dreadfully but I dont think that the time is right for us to be right now. It hurts so bad some nights to lay in my bed alone and him not answer my calls or him not having time for me because he's spending it with her. I just pray about it though and so far God is the only one that is bringing me through. I often think maybe I should just let go but apart of me just cant. I guess because I'm not used to being alone and the jealousy of his "new found relationship" with this girl. I know that he wants to come back but he just doesnt know how yet. And I know that truthfully it's because I hurt him. I feel like this is all my fault and no matter how much I pray I just can't influence him to come back. He says he's happy where he's at and that he's done with our marriage that was dead a long time ago as he claims. Not true. Just and excuse to rid the guilt of him deserting our marriage for his mistress. But God has brought me along way from crying everyday and not sleeping to now sleeping, still crying sometimes but just being able to stand because before I couldnt. SO YES HE DID RESCUE ME! I am going through this with you my dear sister. And if you want to discuss anything further or need support or advice or just a shoulder to cry on please let me know and i will make sure you get my number or personal email. MAY GOD BLESS YOU AND KEEP YOU! WE CAN MAKE IT!

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Permalink Reply by candy on June 6, 2010 at 9:37am

HEY ...WATCH THE MOVIE ."FIREPROOF"

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Permalink Reply by Shawn Conner on June 27, 2010 at 7:54pm

I am praying for you and your husband. This too will past and you will be still standing.
His strength is made perfect in our weakness.

Revelation 3:8 “I know your works. See, I have set before you an open door, and no one can shut it; for you have a little strength, you have kept My word, and have not denied My name.

I'm praying for you husband to be saved.

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