DIVORCE AMONG CHRISTIANS. IS IT RIGHT?

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Permalink Reply by Pastor Bob B on July 5, 2008 at 5:32pm

I agree that scripturally some one can justify divorcing;

Number one due to abandonment, which could include abuse, or a spouse living a criminal lifestyle, or not meeting the physical and emotional needs of the spouse.

Number two adultery; could be pornography, sexual relationships out side the marriage.

But I think it is a mistake to divorce when there can be forgiveness, and reconciliation.
I have been separated for 2 years now.
I live in a separate apartment, my daughter, and wife live in the rest of the house. I see my wife almost every day because we share a laundry.
I almost filed for the divorce after about 6 months of being separated, but God started dealing with me that if I was willing to forgive that I could not file for divorce.
If she goes ahead and files and we get divorced then I will still stand for my marriage up until she were to remarry.
For me it is the only way I can justify the divorce. I know God brought us together 27 years ago and I know he can bring us together again.
The thing we Christians got to settle in our lives is the obedience issue to what God would have us to do.
The big lie of the Devil is; You have a right to be happy.
Check out the statistics and you will find it is all a lie. Divorce will not make you a happier person.
Obedience to the Lord will lead to peace.
God always leads us, but the Devil pushes us.
God hates divorce because he knows how distructive it can be for us.
Saying all this, there must be changes before any kind of reconciliation that can be acheave through good Biblical counsellings by a pastor or councilor.

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Permalink Reply by inibehe on July 5, 2008 at 6:59pm

Brother Bob,
I salute you courage and determination to honour God by standing on His word. At times its difficult to make some tough decisions but obedience to God's word makes it possible. God bless you.
inibehe.

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Permalink Reply by Leonard T on July 5, 2008 at 5:47pm

Here are several forums taht have already addressed this issue that may help:

http://www.allaboutgod.net/forum/topic/show?id=1383940%3ATopic%3A23263
http://www.allaboutgod.net/forum/topic/show?id=1383940%3ATopic%3A12...

Lord Bless,
LT

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Permalink Reply by inibehe on July 5, 2008 at 6:51pm

Thanks brother LT for standing on the biblical point. You are really a general in Christ. I enjoyed your indepth study and resolution. God bless you.
inibehe.

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Permalink Reply by unshrndispairing on July 5, 2008 at 6:14pm

My "wife" is living with another man and has completely abandoned the family. I asked her if she "loved" this man and wanted to be with him and she said yes. She wants "out". I was not a perfect husband but I always put family first (or tried to). I am just hurting right now and feel I should just keep to myself from now on so as not to get hurt ever again.

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Permalink Reply by Pastor Bob B on July 5, 2008 at 7:18pm

There is a net support for those who are facing what your facing. Check it out. Net support for those facing separation, divorce, or loss of a spouce. Believe me when I say my heart breaks for you. You will be in my prayers.
Bob

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Permalink Reply by rix on July 6, 2008 at 2:41am

I have had two wives divorce me. I had no choice and the courts made the decisions for me. I refused to sign my name on the last one. I did not even attend court. I even still pray for her and grieve for her child that I adopted and was not allowed to father. Divorce(s) in my family (childhood siblings etc) have shown me that it is always wrong. It destroys lives and mine was almost lost due to divorce. I will never marry again (unless God sends me the one that I know he chose for me 24 years ago) even though I know I would not be committing adultery. I am so glad to be married to Jesus. Yes brother Bob you are right. We have to dig deeper than ever to find forgiveness, even for the one who cheats on you (I did and it is not easy). As a man who worked for 15 years with juvenile delinquents I know first and second hand the hurts of divorce (yes I was a juvenile delinquent locked up in reform school at 12 years old). I saw the anger that these children have. I personally know that divorce is the main causation of the very breakdown in our society. Even in the academic world this is acknowledged and I excelled in that area. To more succinctly answer the Pauline scripture; one cannot stop another from divorcing but your friend does not have to sign the papers.

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Permalink Reply by Esther on July 7, 2008 at 6:27am

Its not lawful,i beleive there other ways to go about problems by praying earnestly for your wife if you really love her,have you not read that devil does not want a happy marriage,he s always looking for everyway to put hatred in the heart of the spouse always saying you av the right to be happy,making things to look so bad but God said with men its impossible but not with God,He has the power to change things,just believe, live right and pray always especially in this type of situation,pray for the power and grace to believe in the impossible.we should learn to forgive wholeheartedly and pray even for the person,declare the words of GOD at all times,like: HE has not given me the power of fear but of love,power and a sound mind, its fear that makes us think about divorce.when you feel its so necessary to put her away, be ready never to remarry nor commit adultry.its always good to listen to the spirit of GOD that is in us,if we do it ll always lead us right and GOD ll take all the Glory,the devil ll be ashame.

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Permalink Reply by christelle on July 7, 2008 at 12:34pm

I did not know of the "Pauline ruling" till a minister told me when my husband left me. He seemed suprised I had no knowledge of it. I had always just heard of the adultry rule.

That said, my husband and I are under the same roof again. While he is still not saved, I am and I know that I carry a responsibility that he does not. I try every day to be the best wife I can, and I have made an inner commitment not to leave. But it does make my heart rest easier to know that if my best is not good enough, and if the prayer I pray and everyone else prays for him does not soften his heart to God. I don't know if I'm going to word this correctly so bear with me....it makes it easier for me to be the best I can be by knowing that all I can do is try my hardest and pray, and if that doesn't work, God will allow me my freedom. I can tell you....I understand why Paul would use the word bondage in the case of a christian/non-christian relationship...some days it feels like just that.

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